(opener) What are you doing, cutie? :-)
(opener) Knock knock...
(opener) How's my favorite little brat doing?
(opener) Ciao bella! / Mi amore! / My cheri amore!
(opener) I just made you open your phone for no reason...looks like I got you in check =]
(opener) Hey goof, I bet my weekend can beat up your weekend.
(opener) What sort of trouble are you causing?
(opener) I am luring girls to my house with candy, which do you prefer skittles or M&M's?
(opener) Hey..do me a favor and text me right back. Just hi or something. My friends dont believe retards can text. We'll show em lil buddy
(opener) I know my math u+i equals 69
(opener) Girls are gross...
(opener) Hey princess, I Just came back from the aquarium and I saw the cutest fish there...it reminded me of you :P
(opener) I hope you are smiling. If not just think of me!
(opener) Aliens are coming to abduct all the good looking sexy ass people! You will be safe, I'm just texting to say goodbye
(opener) Remember guys tomorrow is "Hug a retard" day...So don't freak out like you did last year, NO ONE IS TRYING TO HURT YOU!
(opener) I miss you and wanna see you, but this dumb security guard won't let me in the zoo. Is there any way you can escape?
(opener) Why'd you have to give your mom my phone number..? She won't quit calling me now..
(opener) Did you know a blue whales tongue weighs as much as an elephant!? That’s ridiculous… Gotta love animal planet during the lunch break…
(for flakes) I just met your twin
(for flakes) I like talking to you and I don't play games. I think we're really good together. Lets try it if not that's cool and I'm glad we met.
(push-pull) Out of all the (first name) (last name)'s I know... I think your my favorite.
(push-pull) You just popped into my head so Hi...now please stay out of there
(push-pull) Everytime I see u, I smile. When u walk, I laugh. When u speak, I get excited. For some reason, retarded people amuse the hell out of me!
(for same night) Sweet dreams, sexy. :-) [name]
(for same night) Hey I hope you got home safe. [name]
(attraction) Let's fly to Las Vegas, get married, argue about our third kid's name, divorce, and grow old lonely and depressed
(attraction) I don't know who you're boyfriend is...but he's not spanking you enough!
(attraction) I don't think you're ready for this jelly
(attraction) Awww, you're so sweet. You're making me get diabetes.
(attraction) I just don't think we should do this anymore...Sometimes you make me feel like I am just a piece of meat.
(comfort) I was thinking of you...
(comfort) Something about u seems to always make me smile.
(sex) This is a breathalizer test. Please blow in the phone.....Result: Positive 90% for sperm breath
"for what?" "what did i do?" "why?"
"i was just thinking of u. congratulations =)"
"Who is this?"
"I know...I'm just being an ass "
"Did you know that LIPS and KISS are typed the same way on your phone?"
"I love how soft your lips are, I can't wait to kiss them again."