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Thread: Unofficial Boyfriend

  1. #1
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    Unofficial Boyfriend

    I went to a college orientation and got 3 phone numbers which may be just from being friendly with them and not really showing any real romantic type attraction like going up and hitting on them but hey, you gotta start somewhere. haha.

    But anyway I met a girl which was very attractive and actually lives quite close to where I live so I tried talking to here the most. I can't remember the entire conversation but it was kind of fun for me and her. She was laughing and smiling. She tossed her hair a couple of times and showed from what I have learned are, "Signs of Attraction" and we really became good friends. I didn't really want to hit on her though because we would have seen each other multiple times throughout the day and I thought it might make it a little awkward. But I had asked her if she would have liked to see the new Spiderman movie with me earlier in the day and she said that would be fun. While talking to her in the conversation I am currently talking about I asked and this I will quote.

    ME: "So you said your down to see the new Spiderman movie right? I know, I probably asked you this like three times (Smiles)"
    HER: "(Smiling) nah, it's alright. (Still Smiling) and yeah, that would be cool"
    ME: "I was thinking, if your not seeing anyone, we should make it a date."
    HER: "Aww, thats so sweet but I actually am seeing someone right now... But it's kind of unofficial, because of college and stuff"
    ME: "Oh, well he can come too if he wants. Haha!"
    HER: "HAHAHA! I don't know about that. (Still smiling and laughing)"
    ME: "Well, we should still see it then. At the very least as friends."
    HER: "Yeah, definitely!"

    After this bit conversation still goes on as usual, fun and light hearted.

    From what I got, I think that she is at the very least somewhat interested. I'm kind of curious about her "unofficial boyfriend" whether that was just her being kind about rejecting me, but she said she would still like to see the movie with me so I dunno what to really think about it. Maybe she is just not sure about it or something. I was thinking about calling her/ texting her in a few days and ask her out on a movie date again. Kind of like, "I know you said you had an unofficial boyfriend, but I figured why not ask if you want to go on an unofficial casual date." Maybe if she is still hesitant I can use Kong's, "You're going to look back on this and say, 'shit', I should have taken some sort of risk but was too afraid." Whether I will be smooth enough to pull that off in conversation is anyone's guess. But what do you guys think.

    What should I do, how did I do, and what could I have done better? Should I ask via call or text? And it prob does not matter but I am asian/white and she is white/ italian.

  2. #2
    Senior Member rang3r's Avatar
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    iight, you're doing alright in this interaction. if you didn't say "ME: "Oh, well he can come too if he wants. Haha!" " it would have been awk. good man for saying that line. there's nothing, to my eyes, that you should have done differently.

    i do question this "boyfriend" because she even said it herself: "college and stuff". so, you got two options here, which you already know
    --1: go for it and crash and burn if this "boyfriend" thing goes through. however, it's still a win-win situation: you either get the girl or you tried and not kicking yourself
    --2: don't go for it and regret it if it doesn't happen. this is the lost at all cost because you half tried and didn't complete it.

    and so what if you're asian! i'm asian too and i hit on white chicks for the most part. i say call because you will hear her voice and notice words by the way she says it rather than text. i'm starting to become a fan of calling because i barely have a texting game developed. texting is now an excuse for girls that "don't have calling" so yeah.
    There is no "easy" way.
    approaching is a win-win. if you get rejected, at least you tried. and if she doesn't reject you, duh.
    you think, you overthink. you overthink, you fuck up.
    Why waste time apologizing for something that was said/done when it already happened?
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  3. #3
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    yeah, agree with ranger, BUT, dont dig a hole into the friendzone.

    she says she has an unofficial bf cause of college and stuff, maybe a rejection (like you said) but i doubt it if she still wants to hang out.

    eitherway now you know, you will probably not be her boyfriend either, but you can still try to chill with her and it might lead to a sexual encounter, without worrying bout boyfriend girlfriend stuff.
    so, IMO, dont create too many feelings and dont put much value on it, cause you know theres a chance nothing will work out.

    chill, have fun, flirt!

  4. #4
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    So do you guys think that I should still go for the date by calling her like I said in my first post or should I just ask her to hang out and see a movie with me without bringing up the idea of making it a date. And I'm not really emotionally attached. No tunnel vision here. Sure I would like to date and maybe become her boyfriend but if it doesn't work out that way it's really not that big of a deal to me. I will always find another girl that I will find attractive if this doesn't work out. I will probably be calling her tomorrow just so you guys know.

  5. #5
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    Cause I think that if your attracted to someone you should try to ask them on a date to get to know them. The only thing is she said she has an unofficial boyfriend. Which to me means:
    1: She is a little attracted to me and does not want to risk the friendship through dating
    2: She does have an "unofficial boyfriend" but no advances has been made on his part to be an actual boyfriend
    I feel like if she had no interest she would have flat out said no to the date. But she didn't say a real solid answer. Just that she had this "Unofficial Boyfriend". This makes me feel like if I bring it up again when asking her to the movie I might be able to turn it into a date.

  6. #6
    Senior Member rang3r's Avatar
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    if you don't want it to sound like a date, tell her to "meet up" with you for a movie.
    open the conversation like this, if she answers your call:
    -hey, do you remember me?
    whatever she says. (you can remind her who you are right away, if she doesn't remember, or joking say "i thought we were good friends and have my number down by heart. just kidding, it's TinyTunaFish.)
    -alright, i called you because i wanted to see Ted today. My offer is still up if you want to meet up.

    so, just something like that. if she says okay, then good. if she says no, well, better luck next time.
    There is no "easy" way.
    approaching is a win-win. if you get rejected, at least you tried. and if she doesn't reject you, duh.
    you think, you overthink. you overthink, you fuck up.
    Why waste time apologizing for something that was said/done when it already happened?
    Know Your Rights - JUST IN CASE--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------My Youtube

  7. #7
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    I think that sounds like a good idea Rang3r. I'll go down that route cause it sounds a little more intimate than hanging out but less serious than a date. I'll take that route this time and then I'll go for the date later if I decide to take it any further. I'll update you guys on the progress.

  8. #8
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    I tried texting her earlier today but no reply. oh well. maybe I'll try tomorrow. I know better than to text bomb her. I'll go for the phone call tomorrow.

  9. #9
    Senior Member rang3r's Avatar
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    phone call for sure man. you'll be fine. you're a confident guy. you're awesome. remember that.
    There is no "easy" way.
    approaching is a win-win. if you get rejected, at least you tried. and if she doesn't reject you, duh.
    you think, you overthink. you overthink, you fuck up.
    Why waste time apologizing for something that was said/done when it already happened?
    Know Your Rights - JUST IN CASE--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------My Youtube

  10. #10
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    You put yourself in the friendzone sort of, but now all you gotta do is mix it up and show some physical attraction and flirty messages b4 movie time Be physical in the movies bro!

  11. #11
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    I called her and she did not pick up. But a few hours later she texted me and I'll give you the chat log.

    HER: Sorry I'm babysitting what's up
    ME: Oh good. I had though I had put your # in my phone wrong. Haha. Anyway. I was thinking about seeing spiderman today. If your not busy around 7:45 we should meet up.
    HER: Aww damn Idk how late I'm babysitting until and then I have grad parties alll weekend for some reason haha thank you tho!
    ME: Lol. What's the weekend have to do with tonight? Well... If you get off babysitting in time for a movie around 745 or 820 I'll be glad to give you a ride.
    HER: Because the weekend starts tonight lol I have my girlfriends grad party that I'm just going to when I get off
    ME: Haha. Your weekend starts tonight? Your such a party girl Lol. Well. Maybe next time we could see Ted or something.

    And that was it so far. Not a very stimulating text conversation I think but whatever. I'm thinking she is just kind of blowing me off but I'll keep trying to invite her to shit until she tells me to fuck off. But I don't think I'm in the friend zone. Mainly because I made it clear that I wanted to take her out on a date on the first day we met. She might be trying to place me in the Friendzone however. I'll do my best to stave that off if I can but we're gonna need to hang out together for that to happen lol.

    And this thread is starting to drift over to "So there's this girl..." category so if there is anything more on this particular girl I will place it there and I will place a link in here. Thanks guys for all the assistance and feel free to critique my text log. Thanks again.

  12. #12
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    I think you put too much emphasis on watching the movie rather than wanting her company.

  13. #13
    Senior Member rang3r's Avatar
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    420th post. this is it.

    anyways! you can emphasize less on the movie and a bit more on enjoying the company. "hinnam", good point there.
    in my mind, you're making it look more like a date than just two people/two friends getting together to enjoy each other's company.
    There is no "easy" way.
    approaching is a win-win. if you get rejected, at least you tried. and if she doesn't reject you, duh.
    you think, you overthink. you overthink, you fuck up.
    Why waste time apologizing for something that was said/done when it already happened?
    Know Your Rights - JUST IN CASE--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------My Youtube

  14. #14
    Member Star Craft Player's Avatar
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    For your first post on this page about "if you're not seeing anyone" I wouldn't have even mentioned that. I would go straight to the point of asking her out like "hey, we should watch spiderman next week, soon, sometime, etc." that way you don't seem so unsure of yourself and know what you want. Plus if she doesn't mention "someone" at that point then you are good. Never bring that "someone" up

    When she was babysitting don't push on how you want to watch a movie then and now after her babysitting. You come off as needy. She even said that she has a grad party to attend to so let her be. I would of been like "Have fun! We can go watch spiderman/ted next time and plan accordingly" That shows that you are letting her breathe and you don't seem so selfish or needy by letting her out and that you both will work together on going out next time.
    I accidentally put a space on my name... It's supposed to read "StarCraft" not "Star Craft"

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