How To Break Up With Her

After a few years of getting into pickup, we got pretty good at getting into relationships. However, one of our downfalls was our general lack of knowledge on how to break up with girls Usually I would just keep talking to and having sex with a girl until I stopped calling her, answering her texts, and/or if she dumped me. These weren’t necessarily the best methods because they were petty and childish, but more importantly, the fate of my relationships solely relied on the decisions of the girl.

It was pathetic! It got so bad that if I wanted the relationship to end I would force myself to act repulsively on our dates – burping or farting in front of her or acting like a douche in front of her friends. I was afraid to do the breaking up myself because of two main reasons.

1) Guilt

I find that it’s easy for anyone to reject someone during the initial approach or the first date. However, when you spend a lot of time – days, months, and even years – with someone, it becomes hard to let them go because of the history you have with each other. She’s invested so much into you, trying to change you, better you, and fit in her life as possible and now… well, you’re going to say, “I don’t think this can work.”

You’ll have to sit there as you watch her cry, throw tantrums, and it can even get so bad that she’s calling you every single day and hour of the night wondering if you’ll get back together. In addition, I’ve known guys whose entire social circle gets disassembled due the many friends that he and a girl have in common.

It is this guilt of tearing everything apart that makes you keep the relationship going. No matter how toxic the relationship is or how out of touch you are with your girl, you stick with it because of the guilt that lies in your head.

2) Feelings For Her

You once had feelings for her as well and, you keep yourself in the relationship, trying to convince yourself that those feelings will return. This can be the stronger, more compelling reason of the two because “hope” is a strong feeling. I’ve known guys who kept trying to make it work with a girl they’ve grown out of because of this “hope” and it usually ended horribly like they cheated or they just simply wasted their time.

Why Breaking Up Is NOT A Bad Thing

If you no longer like the girl, you need to do all you can do to push her out of your life. Time is short so there isn’t a reason to be with someone who brings you down. This may seem harsh but it’s an undeniable fact. It’ll only get worse in the future because it can put you in a position to cheat, settle, and take away time that could be used to find your “one” or just live a happier life.

Listen, I love relationships but at the end of the day if that girl isn’t the one for you, you have to let her know. It’s a disservice to you and to her if you don’t take lead on this one.

How To Break Up With Her

1) Follow Through

The first thing you need to do is realize that when you make this decision, you stick with it. So many times guys make the “I’m going to break up with her” statement and also make it clear to their friends about their decision. But, they don’t do it because it’s not the “perfect time” or some other bullshit. Fuck that, stop it. When you make the decision, stick with it because in reality, there will never be a perfect time.

I don’t care if she suddenly bakes your favorite cookies or does something sexual that you always wanted… you cannot get distracted, stick with your decision and follow through with it.

2) Break Up OUTSIDE of the Bedroom

You don’t want to shit where you eat. There is nothing wrong with having “goodbye” sex. There is just something out of place when you tell her you want to break up while you’re both staring at each other naked. You can do it at a restaurant, a park, on the sidewalk, in class, wherever… just don’t do it where you both have sex.

3) Say It to Her Face

Don’t be a fucking prick or pussy by doing it via text or e-mail message. It’s a downright cowardly move. You should always do it directly in person. You can talk it out, do your last hugs, and make it very clear. The only time I say that you can do it, without being direct, is if you’re in a long distance relationship where you cannot wait to see each other in real life. Yes, Skype is very legitimate in this case, but it should only be used as a last resort.

4) Give Each Other Space

You need to end all communication with her. After the break up, you should make it very clear to her that you’re not longer going to communicate with her and she should do the same. The reason is because the situation becomes very complicated if you start talking to each other again.

You need that space and time apart to help the healing process on both ends. This is harder than it seems because communicating with her became second nature to you and now you have to learn how to get rid of that habit. And, as we all know habits are hard to get rid of… but it’s the fastest way to get over her.

There are even times when you should block her from Facebook. Don’t give in to temptation and comment on her Facebook statuses, photos, etc. Don’t write her any emails or respond to her in any form related to social media.

5) Be Clear

Tell her in as much detail as possible the reasons why you’re breaking up with her. The whole notion of “we need to talk” is dumb. Invite her out, sit her down, and say, “This may be a little forward, but I want to tell you right now that I don’t think our relationship can last. I personally want to break up/call this off. Here are the reasons why.” It’s better to go through the points slowly because you want to make sure the situation flows through calmly.

The last thing you want is food to be thrown in your face or for her to throw a tantrum or cause a scene. I find when you’re clear, thorough, and most importantly, calm, she will be calm and responsive on her end as well.

Lastly, it’s always good to make sure that you listen to her. You need to make sure you both communicate because you want to make sure your rules (as mentioned above) are heard. This way you both know where you’re coming from when you discuss how you want to proceed with this breakup.

6) Stay Strong and Be Cordial

Understand that you need to move on. In most cases it’s going to be a crazy first couple of weeks or months. A lot of emotions are flying around that can really fuck you up. You need to act strong, be strong and move on. You must also be cordial with her and tell her directly BEFOREHAND how you’re feeling, what might happen, and what you’re both going to do (like not communicating).

You don’t want to be the douche that talks shit about her behind her back or starts yelling at her. Just let the emotions and time run their course. Like everything, it will take time.


projectgo ad kong edit1 How To Break Up With Her

121 Responses to How To Break Up With Her

  1. daniel June 19, 2013 at 1:08 am #

    honestly guys, they say experience is the best teacher and by reading this i can tell you guys have plenty of it and i intend to keep this advice close to the chest, but really alot of it all comes down to man the fuck up and grow a pair, Jason once said i stayed with a girl because it was convenient, i use to do this myself, but you guys make it obvious that you have to put yourself out there and do your shit, whenever i want to pick up a girl on the street and i feel like i dont want to i automatically think of you guys telling me to ''GO'' and thank you guys for giving me inspiration

    • JesseKongJason June 19, 2013 at 4:01 am #

      Keep your attitude going. Never ever put yourself in a convenient situation because you are worth more.

      • ThinkingTooMuch January 26, 2014 at 9:21 pm #

        But what about the borderline cases, when a lot of it is great – e.g. I'm falling more and more in love with her, but somehow we don't have great 'crazy' physical chemistry. So far it happened that something was great, either the sex was great but the person less interesting, or she is super beautiful and I love her personality, but somehow I don't get crazy turned on by her. – I have kept seeing them in a open relationships, but that keeps me so busy that I don't really go out actively meeting more girls. So should I end these 'partially, but not totally awesome' relationships in hope to find a truly awesome one? – What's your experience? For how long do you keep seeing girls that you are just 'seeing'? – I guess these things keep working out naturally, but maybe you know what I'm talking about and have a better perspective on: How do you know whether it's worth to keep seeing a girl, when there is no 'goal' since all purpose here is situational…

  2. rayhon June 19, 2013 at 3:56 am #

    What do you think of getting food and then going to beach to talk and have some drinks for a first date?

    • JesseKongJason June 19, 2013 at 4:01 am #

      I think this is a perfect first date. Read our First date articles.

    • Anon June 19, 2013 at 4:14 am #

      Generally speaking, if you think it's going to be fun, then she'll think it's fun as well. Afterall, you're the one that asked her out on the date didn't you? So if you love it, do it. She'll appreciate the creativity and confidence.

      P.s. Noone can do a better job, than yourself. But yeaa, that sounds quite romantic and fun for a first date if you intended to ask her out. You want them to have their attention on you ( remember that ) . You got this.

  3. Dave June 19, 2013 at 3:57 am #

    Hey guys. On an unrelated note I wanted to know if you guys feel like you can never be monogamous after going through all these years of pick up. Can any of you really see yourselves staying with one girl without getting the instinctual and habitual urge to go pick up when you spot a hot girl on the street. Do you feel like there's any downside to diving your life in pick up in that sense?

    • JesseKongJason June 19, 2013 at 4:03 am #

      I think the only downside is putting yourself in a situation where you are unsure of where you want to go with pickup. In addition, the skills you learn from pickup should also be transcended into the real world. These are valuable skills. As for monogamy? If we really like the girl we will happily stay monogamous.

  4. Lachy June 19, 2013 at 3:59 am #

    ok so i'm 18 and have had sex with a few girls and all that good stuff. but i'm not good with girls i've just met. i always get with girls i've befriended and snuck my way in to haha. so any tips with new girls and strangers at clubs etc.? thanks guys :)

    • JesseKongJason June 19, 2013 at 4:03 am #

      We have three articles on club game. I think those articles will help you.

      • JOHNSON III June 19, 2013 at 4:14 am #

        sorry to interupt, but how r those articles useful if he is only 18?

        • Lachy June 19, 2013 at 4:42 am #

          i live in australia mate ;)

  5. Alvaro Ochoa June 19, 2013 at 4:00 am #

    I really really try to talk to women but i can't, how did you guys start in this thing?

    • JesseKongJason June 19, 2013 at 4:04 am #

      Look at Project GO & Simple 30. The idea is just to GO without hesitation.

  6. adam June 19, 2013 at 4:02 am #

    After a week of radio silenced from her, I texted her to see what has been up with her. She said that she was sorry for not responding to my invites because she has been super busy at her job and having family issues. Should I ease off the texting because she seems busy, or should I comfort her/ try and make conversation with her? Thanks guys!

    • JesseKongJason June 19, 2013 at 4:07 am #

      Take an ease of texting. Send a comforting text and tell her you'll hit her up when things slow down for a bit. Then, go ahead and try again a week or so later.

  7. tdubs June 19, 2013 at 4:02 am #

    Dear Simple pick up,

    This girl and I have been dating for roughly 2 months. She just recently got out of a long term relationship (4 years) and she doesn't want to rush into things with me. However, I get jealous when she talks to other guys and she is going to EDC with a group of friends. I know for a fact 2 of them are trying to bang her. Anyway, I'm looking for a relationship where as she doesn't want to be exclusive. But we do like each other a lot and sex is just phenomenal.

    I don't want to get hurt when I find out she is seeing other guys too. What should I do at this point?

    Should I continue doing what i've been doing and just have a good time with her. Or should I tell her how I feel and be straight up and tell her I don't want her to see other guys.

    Thanks guys.

    • JesseKongJason June 19, 2013 at 4:09 am #

      To make it simple, find a new girl. I think she's at a different stage in her life and if you're able to convey your feelings to a point where she agrees, then go ahead with the relationship. However, I think you should find a new girl because she's at a different place.

      • tdubs June 19, 2013 at 4:14 am #


        Thanks for replying.

    • Far Away October 28, 2013 at 7:07 pm #

      Bud, this is the EXACT same thing that happened to me. She was my first, she was gorgeous, she really liked me, I loved her, and she did my close friend. That's what I had to deal with and that's where I ended it. She was at a different stage in her life than I was, we had the best times and I loved the sex, but you will get hurt at one point, yet I don't regret anything.

  8. Adi June 19, 2013 at 4:03 am #

    You guys have helped me a lot when it comes to psychologically perceiving things differently and solving a lot of behavioral problems. I am going to ask for advice on how to control my ADHD now. It affects my interactions with girls when it comes to paying attention to the progression of the conversation. If you guys could share your psychological techniques on how to focus on a single activity without getting distracted, it would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.


    • JesseKongJason June 19, 2013 at 4:11 am #

      Put all distractions aside and study in a room alone. Then, keep pushing yourself to be persistently focused every step of the way.

  9. Paul June 19, 2013 at 4:06 am #

    What is the row you're usually following when having sex?
    You go down on her,then penetrate?
    What if she finishes before you?Does she still want to have sex after she finishes?

    • JesseKongJason June 19, 2013 at 4:12 am #

      That's a good strategy. Almost every girl I know never really finishes (unless over 2 hours). As in just because she cums once, doesn't mean she can't cum again…

  10. PAULY C June 19, 2013 at 4:06 am #

    Jesse, Jason, or kong, have you ever fell in love or been in a relationship with any of the girls you’ve picked up?

    • JesseKongJason June 19, 2013 at 4:12 am #

      It will happen.

  11. Littlebigoscar June 19, 2013 at 4:09 am #

    what if you still want to bang her after the brake up? should i just be blunt about it?

    • JesseKongJason June 19, 2013 at 4:14 am #

      Yes. be blunt. But more so than none, I would stray away.

  12. Lon June 19, 2013 at 4:09 am #

    Is there a topic about the "PITFALLS" and causes of a "Break-up" and why they happend?
    Could you brieftly STATE the major problems within a relationship that are highly likely to cause a break up- as many people do not want this to ever happen and should let us know the common errors.

    Thanks guys- This would be greatly appreciate.

    • JesseKongJason June 19, 2013 at 4:51 am #

      I think that would go for a wonderful article.

      • Lon June 19, 2013 at 5:30 am #

        Thank you ! I think it'd be great to let everyone be more aware of the common errors/problems that lead up to a break up and why/how both the guy/girl got to that conclusion "the break-up stage". Or Post-Breakup
        Therefore, helping is be more aware of them so more and more of us will have successful relationship and to keep in mind so that these problems are minimized and prevented for ppl in relationship already.

        Many Thanks.

  13. Vipul June 19, 2013 at 4:15 am #

    What do with Indian girls they're either shy or very arrogant? Just wont talk with you.

    • Anon June 19, 2013 at 4:25 am #

      Then find one that works for you, there are so many other girls. Never limit yourself.

    • JesseKongJason June 19, 2013 at 4:52 am #

      It's all in the state of mind. But the question I have for you is this, why go after girls who you don't like approaching? Honestly though this sounds like you're giving yourself excuses to not approach.

      • Vipul June 19, 2013 at 7:47 am #

        The point is they ALL are like this,they don't like being approached they think they're the queens of this world and wont give a shit to anyone who'd approach and isn't hot as fuck or rich! Tell me a nice shut up line or something to say when they show arrogance or become shy that wont even be rude to them and make me pursue the conversation with them!

        • Vish June 19, 2013 at 8:37 am #

          If a girl rejects you just move on. There’s no point in trying to convince her to have a conversation after she gives a serious no.

          • Vipul June 20, 2013 at 12:04 pm #

            I know that but all girls are like this here so just asked our idols if they could tell something!

        • Jon June 19, 2013 at 11:59 am #

          You're just not good at pick up yet (I'm not that good yet either) All girls all over the world are like this. All girls will hold themselves at a high value when a guy blatantly tries to make moves on them. Instead of making moves. Try to have a genuine interaction, the way you would meet a friend. You're problem is that you look like you want something out of them. You need to make them feel comfortable by being normal, and then you begin to make sure they know what you want. You can learn a lot from movies. First off, no more excuses. It's always your fault.

          • Vipul June 20, 2013 at 12:06 pm #

            Dude you don't know my game stop saying how i do it, i make it as simple as possible and you even don't know girls here in India are super regressive they wont talk no matter what!

          • Dominic July 24, 2014 at 4:33 am #

            I get where you are coming from, there is a difference in reactions you get in Asia as compared to the states. Personally I'm from an asian country with multiple races and no preferred common language. There might be some difference in the things you say or the pick up lines, but from my travels, it ultimately comes down to one thing, CONFIDENCE.

            Confidence doesn't need much explanation as these guys have shown you multiple times on how to grow balls. Here's what I want to add, since these asians are either stuck up or shy as you depicted it, make sure you're completely in charge of the conversation whilst having them think they're in charge. The idea is that you want to set a standard for yourself, don't put them on a pedestal, but instead, put yourself on a pedestal and pull her onto your pedestal. Make her feel proud of herself not because she's a good catch, but rather on the reason that you're a dude with high standards, and she has simply met your standards to be able to share your pedestal.

            Keep her on tip toes with a feeling that you have a choice, and she will definitely be ignored if said standards of yours are not met. Follow through, ignore her when necessary, or be straight forward to point out clearly what you do not like. Keep the conversations random, provide intelligent conversations, without exposing most of your details or thoughts. Be reserved, keep yourself mysterious and give her a sense that she knows you, but just can't can't make up her mind about you and wants to know more.

            To give you a grasp, that cashier serving your coffee, you see her everyday, talk to her while waiting for your coffee, she thinks you're appreciative, funny, yada yada. But come on, does she really know you? That's because you don't make an attempt to describe your whole life to her in a nutshell. You're mysterious, you're fresh, the topics everyday is random, that's why there's always conversation.

            Just my two cents. And one more thing, the stuff they do and the techniques they use in holding conversations could be seen in any business man. It works beyond picking up girls. Try it on your business deal next time.

  14. Heaven June 19, 2013 at 4:15 am #

    How long do you guys keep girls around for? How long are you friends with benefits for?

    • JesseKongJason June 19, 2013 at 4:53 am #

      For however long we think it'll work.

  15. Desiviza June 19, 2013 at 4:17 am #

    Any more videos about your text game/examples? I could really use it!

    • JesseKongJason June 19, 2013 at 4:53 am #

      We're making more.

  16. Junior June 19, 2013 at 4:19 am #

    Hey guys, i know that this may sounds weird, but what should i do if i start liking a girl that has a boyfriend? Should i just move on? I feel that i could be with many other girls, but no one would be like her.. Thanks a lot, ur awesome!

    • JDogg June 19, 2013 at 4:49 am #

      If you know she likes you back, and feel as though you both have great chemistry I say go for it! Who knows that could end up being your future wife.. So you don't know without trying~ Talk to her first.. if you haven't and if her relationship is bad use that to your advantage

    • JesseKongJason June 19, 2013 at 4:53 am #

      Personally move on, there are millions of girls out there: we really don't condone that type of stuff because we know there are others. However, she can introduce you to someone awesome.

  17. Anon June 19, 2013 at 4:19 am #

    not related to this article at all, but I feel very afraid and anxious about kissing girls because I have tied tongue, It doesn't go out of my mouth. Any tips?

    • JDogg June 19, 2013 at 4:51 am #

      You dont need a long tongue to kiss a girl lol.. Or rather to be a good kisser.. Besides girls dont like guys shoving their tongues down their throat.. Your fine without a super long tongue. *Im tongue tied and I do fine with kissing*

    • JesseKongJason June 19, 2013 at 4:54 am #

      Find someone to kiss then after a while you'll get the hang of things.

      • Anon June 21, 2013 at 3:36 am #

        Fuck, this actually makes sense. There is a girl I talked to a few days ago and I keep telling myself I wont talk to her because "she is not that hot", but after seeing your answer and a podcast yesterday I realized it was bullshit. Im gonna talk to her again and ask her out. thanks for giving attention to my question. Tbh I am downloading the videos from the internet, because I cant subscribe to something like that because i live with my parents and i dont have money.

        I think you guys should never care for piracy. If people really like project go, they will pay for it. its just like the gaming industry. people wont buy a game just because they cant find it on the pirate bay.

        • Thatguy June 21, 2013 at 1:19 pm #

          But YOU really like project go, and aren't paying for it, right?…How would you like it if you created something and spent the a huge amount of your LIFE on this, and people just steal it from you?…

          • Anon June 21, 2013 at 1:50 pm #

            they are not stealing it. stealing implies you lose something. The fact is, if they could delete all "illegal" download links from the internet, they woudnt get a single more subscription. Thats a fact, and it applies to piracy in general and even to public libraries.

  18. Russell June 19, 2013 at 4:24 am #

    Just started approaching a few months ago and starting to get good at it. I met a girl who is decent looking with an awesome personality and we've be dating for a few months. Total GF material. I'm on the fence about a relationship though, so many pros and cons. I love approaching girls and it's become a new favorite hobby but I don't want to become shallow as well and watch this girl walk away. What advice could you give to me about being on the fence with a girl? My gut is torn…love picking up girls, but also like this girl a lot.

    • JesseKongJason June 19, 2013 at 4:55 am #

      You can be in a relationship and still pick up girls. As long as you're honest. I know many guys who are in relationships, you still practice their pickup. But, they're always honest about what they do and who they are. But, remember this… if she's truly gf material, then go for it.

    • Jordan June 19, 2013 at 5:00 am #

      I set it straight with my girlfriend.. I legit told her I pick up girls for a hobby and to build my confidence, before I even meet her.. I told her I do it with my friends because im their wingman in situations.. So she understands that I gotta be there for my bros.. Thus I get to pick up girls as a hobby.. Its not exactly cheating im just flirting and getting the girls number as a trophie then erasing it, with my friends though..*Testing your game from time to time shouldn't be a bad thing (:*

  19. Messiah June 19, 2013 at 4:38 am #

    I wanna know how to go in for the kiss, I mean many times I get it… but I feel like I take too long because I "wait for the moment" without even knowing when it is; and many times the girl doesn't stop talking so should I just ram into her and interrupt her?
    Anyways I would like basically to know when to go in for it, how to go in for it and if possible give me an example of ways you've done it.
    Thanks guys :)

    • Anon June 19, 2013 at 4:50 am #

      The rule is, If you think you should kiss her, kiss her. Never kiss a girl to shut them up cause that shit is fucking teens up big time in this generation.
      Make it surprising, it's really hard to find the 'perfect moment'- just do it when you think it's right i guess. Locking eyes, a bit of silence? staring at eachother standing up holding waist? cool.

    • JesseKongJason June 19, 2013 at 4:56 am #

      If you feel like you need to kiss her. Kiss her.

    • Jon June 19, 2013 at 12:03 pm #

      Literally, do it when you feel it. Don't think about what she's thinking or feeling or doing, even talking, and just go off of what you're feeling like a true man. Girls love it.

  20. JDogg June 19, 2013 at 4:42 am #

    Any advice for virgins? My girlfriend is SUPER tight.. So im not to sure how to have sex with her.. Without insanely hurting her.. (: Thanks for all the advice.. Pick Up basically made me a more confident version of myself (17 in High school)

    • Vish June 22, 2013 at 3:44 am #

      They have a podcast on Project GO that talks about this specific problem. It's a really long process so I won't get into it, but if you can you should try to take a look at it

  21. Sohair June 19, 2013 at 4:44 am #

    If I have a girl who she’s change her job and life to be with me but when she came.. Totally change to another women we rarely do sex.. And not happy with her I still loving her.. But at the same time I don’t know if she’s loving me or not and sometimes I feel she won’t another man which one day she could cheat on me if I am away of home

    So do u think I f I broke up with her I am not guilty excuse she will not find home to live in right now and I can’t stay with her mood

    Advice me

    • JesseKongJason June 19, 2013 at 4:56 am #

      Listen to your gut.

      • sohair June 19, 2013 at 5:13 am #

        my inside telling me dont leave her , she was having her job and her home before she join me and now she is living with me because she was loving me alot, and nowadays i dont feel her old love to me , and i am afraid she is thinking to collect money any try to live alone and find another man which will killing me if she will do at that time
        so really i need a real advice this problem no one giving me solution till now , even i met this girl through your tips ,

        she keep telling me now we have no love because we are living together as married so dont worry {make me more monfusing] and she work hard even working at weekends [she say her job money not enough so she want part time job also
        [i help her alot , she dont pay any thing with me, i buy food, and my home is free]
        appreciate your advice again

        • Han June 20, 2013 at 1:58 am #

          Clear you head. Talk to her, listen to her. Communicate. Then from a logical (with no emotion) point. Think.

      • david June 23, 2013 at 7:45 pm #

        my gut wants food.

  22. tuxedoeddaisy June 19, 2013 at 4:53 am #

    What if she’s pregnant?

    • Vish June 22, 2013 at 3:45 am #

      Don't fuck her

  23. Haber June 19, 2013 at 5:03 am #

    hi can u give me some “master” pickup
    lines that will work (maybe) and how to
    pick up a friend that is a older two
    second question: There is one day in
    summer when all teenagers come to the
    park to drink alcohol. and how to pick a
    girl if she is drunk or not????


  24. Scorch June 19, 2013 at 5:04 am #

    I'm dating this girl, and I recently found out that she's involved with someone but doesn't consider him as her boyfriend. She never told me about it when we met and I asked for her number. I know what to do if she just sees me as a just a friend, but if she's playing the field and down to still continue dating me, how would you guys go about it? I never thought that I would end up in a situation like this.

  25. Haber June 19, 2013 at 5:06 am #

    Hi I am from Croatia, and my grandpa

    died four days ago and i want to change

    my character because every girl didnt

    thint for me that i am serius (they all think

    that i am just another one funny guy). I

    want to be that guy in group that was

    with every girl. So i want to know if you

    can give me some pickup lines that are

    funny and serious, and some advices how

    to aproach girl na group in this situation:

    there is one day when teenagers come to

    park and they drank alcohol (some are

    drunk and some didnt). Tnx

    • Lucas Van de Vijver June 19, 2013 at 9:32 pm #

      Pick up lines are cheesy you should watch their vids they explain everything for example: how to approach 1 girl in a group and show only intrest to her. Maybe you have a wingman who can back you up and keep the other ones entertained. But first of all watch their vids

  26. koolkat June 19, 2013 at 5:26 am #

    I have zero troubles chatting with really cute girls, but I don't go for a direct approach. When I talk to them, I simply try to gauge how interested they are in me, and oftentimes I come to the conclusion that they aren't. How will being direct help if they aren't even interested to begin with?

    • Thatguy June 21, 2013 at 1:27 pm #

      You're assuming they aren't…who's to say they wouldn't be open to something if you actually showed interest? Stop looking for signs, and just go for what you want.

  27. Vish June 19, 2013 at 8:41 am #

    Have u guys used any self improvement material. Books courses etc

  28. Pablo June 19, 2013 at 11:05 am #

    i remember how i broke up with her, and i came back right away to her. The break up made her act alot more positive than it used to be. Anyway i still dont think the relationship is good for me, maybe im looking for excuses but it might be hard to break up, we are over year together and she lives in the same building, one floor up above me :c . i feel just like talking to new girls… fuck this shit -.- why it has to be such a mess, i dont wana hurt her tho.

  29. Diogo June 19, 2013 at 11:06 am #

    How do you know which is the right time to kiss a girl on the first date? Is there any steps I should take in that direction to avoid it becoming awkward?

  30. Jon June 19, 2013 at 11:43 am #

    I honestly don't see it as cowardly to do it over text. It's just easy and simple, and you can tell you want to over text and then plan to meet up to talk about it. Anyway, i don't think it matters how you break up with them cause you're about to broken up anyway so who cares

    • Thatguy June 21, 2013 at 1:30 pm #

      It is cowardly…a man will do it face to face, a little pussy boy will do it over text…

  31. AdDragonswed June 19, 2013 at 3:44 pm #

    I had a situation where she got really mad because I told her directly that I only see her as a fuck buddy but we never really fucked. So she blocked me on Facebook. it got even more complicated when she unblocked me and I started messaging her again. So now.. I still want to go pick up girls but I'm too depressed without realizing it like i would look down at the ground while walking and I'm back to what I was before…

  32. Overlord June 19, 2013 at 6:14 pm #

    I've been hanging out with this girl for like 6 weeks,but i don't know if is too soon to ask her to give me a change? should i just ask her or i better wait?

  33. someone June 19, 2013 at 7:03 pm #

    Hey guys, i have a few problems.
    First of all i am very big (mainly tall), so girls are easily intimidated by me, what can i do to fix that.
    the second thing is that i am blind on my right eye, and it doesn't always follow the movements of the other eye and it ends up looking in a different direction.
    I would love to get your help so please answer.

  34. Lucas van de Vijver June 19, 2013 at 9:28 pm #

    I recently had a gf i wanted to break up with.
    And I am astonished by how well my theory worked out for me. (i'm 17)
    What I actually did is make her break up with me.
    How i did it is simple ignore half her messages, and if you answer keep it short and not too interested.
    Look at other women etc etc… it may seem kind of rude but they'll stop liking you.
    + huge advantage you can play the 'I just got dumped' guy.
    Chicks love the 'I just got dumped' guy

    • Thatguy June 21, 2013 at 1:33 pm #

      You're a pussy…man up and stop doing these little childish things…

  35. player 1 June 19, 2013 at 9:39 pm #

    If you are in high school and you want to flirt with older girls like college freshmens, what is the best way to flirt with them?

    • Vish June 21, 2013 at 5:47 am #

      Just be confident, don't treat it like it's a weird thing for you otherwise they'll catch this and be weirded out themselves

  36. Chrisman June 19, 2013 at 9:42 pm #

    How would you guys say to your gf that you have a huge foot fetish and when? I mean how would you guys do it? Thanks! :)

  37. megzy June 20, 2013 at 4:10 am #

    hi, guys because of you guys, i get a girl pregnant and i dont want any baby but she want. I am asking her to take abort because i am not ready for any baby yet. But she just want baby very bad, and she dont want to take abortion. Any tip how can i make waste our child.

    thanks, its not a joke or any troll i am very serious and depressed now a days

    • megzy June 20, 2013 at 4:11 am #

      we both are 21.

      • Thatguy June 21, 2013 at 1:39 pm #

        You're living with the consequences of your own decisions. It's a risk to take when you have sex dude…Plus, you can't convince her of doing anything she doesn't want. It's her baby too, and her body, she can do whatever she wants.

        By the way, you might want to learn to word things better than "How can I waste our child"…

  38. Lynn June 20, 2013 at 7:20 am #

    Hey, I’m a female viewer of yours. How do I get approached by a guy ?

    I’m not unattractive at all, most of my guy friends tell me I’m beautiful and what not and so do my female friends. I do get approached but get cat called quite often by guys who are too old for me (I’m 18) or by guys that don’t really match up to me. I get stared at a lot, but when I notice an attractive guy looking at me I turn away, due to shyness.

    • Steve June 20, 2013 at 11:16 pm #

      If a guy you want to approach you looks at you, make eye contact, and smile. If a girl does that to me, I would approach her immediately. Smiling is the best body language signal. For bonus points, try and separate yourself from a big group if you're in one, because that can be intimidating to some guys. If he doesn't approach you after that, he's probably too much of a vagina and not worth your time

  39. Dudewheresmycar June 20, 2013 at 5:09 pm #

    What to do when you find out that your gf smokes weed and and in the begining you told her that that shit is not gonna fly wit me, I really like her, should I break up wit her or give her a chancy?

    • Vish June 21, 2013 at 8:16 am #

      Give her a chancy see what happens

    • Thatguy June 21, 2013 at 1:41 pm #

      Depends if it's really a deal breaker with you or not. If it really is and you stay with her, it'll just show her that you can be walked all over. Not a good thing. Have your boundaries and respect them. Plenty of other awesome hot chicks out there.

  40. Avi June 21, 2013 at 2:55 pm #

    Legit article! Pretty good and factual info. However, as much as I agree on every line of this piece, I came to a certain point of disagreement on point 4. You see I was in a serious relationship half a year ago and I had to go away, came to the US to study. We decided to have a long distance relationship. Things were okay at first but gradually as every classic LDR, things started to fall apart. There were many influential reasons like time difference, unavailability, as time passes it's always hard to stay committed when there are so many hot girls everywhere waiting to get hit on and not to mention the constant nagging. So I had to break it up, even though she was still committed and wanted to cling on. Well, it had to end badly with all the drama and sadness. We decided to give each other time and space to recover and move on. Now when everything has cooled off, we still talk but not on a regular basis. We talk about our lives and how they have changed. I have moved on but sometimes I doubt whether she has. Anyways, my point is, it is possible to talk to a girl even after the relationship is dead. Of course not as much as you used to but it can be done. Btw she now has a boyfriend.

  41. Vish June 22, 2013 at 3:47 am #

    Why do you guys stop answering questions after a while on all the articles?

  42. mack June 22, 2013 at 7:04 am #

    How do ask girls out when you have friends that don't want to motivate you. Not like they tell you who to ask. But I'm the only one wanting to do something with my life. I want friends that are awesome, but actually will be my wingman on asking out girls!

    • Vish June 22, 2013 at 7:53 am #

      Don't let the fact that your friends aren't going out with you stop you. If you want to improve your life only you can do that not your friends. And by the way asking a girl out has nothing to do with having friends that don't motivate you.

  43. Carlo June 23, 2013 at 9:19 am #

    Hey i really love all your articles. Been working for me. Ive put aside picking-up girls because im really attracted to this one girl at the moment. However shes been sending mixed signals and its putting me off. Its like we've been playing games with each other. Im not sure if shes interested, or shes just having fun playing me. Maybe you guys can do an article on playing games with girls and reading if she interested or fucking you over…

    • Yad June 24, 2013 at 12:10 am #

      Yahhhhh, I know ho you feel man. Been going on with right now… It's not exactly playing hard to get but like she's hot and cold sometimes. Who knows why she's like that, maybe you're confusing her too bro

  44. Jae June 24, 2013 at 7:03 am #

    How to go from initial approach to keeping her as Friend with benefit, as opposed to exclusive relationship? You guys have said to "subtly" hint her this is going to be a FWB situation, nothing more. Could you expand on this?

    Also, you're ideal relationship would start as FWB, if I understood correctly. Is this true? If so, how would you make this transition?

  45. Nik June 24, 2013 at 2:32 pm #

    Hey guys! What should I do. Earlier this week I texted this girl I know seeing if she wanted to hang out sometime. (She told me to text her but that she was really busy the day before) She answers and says that she is really busy listing a few of her activities throughout the week, then she says she’ll let me know when she’s free. Finally she said she misses me. (She said she missed me earlier in the conversation too) she’s kind of forgetful and it’s been about a week. Should I text her? Or wait for her to text me about plans.

  46. asdf June 25, 2013 at 5:00 am #

    I have a situation similar to this and went down the wrong way. I'd like some advice. It's quite a read so here it goes.

    This is a follow up from post I made a couple weeks ago.
    BACKSTORY: Met this girl, we were pretty romantic for 3 months but could go out do to scheduling conflicts. After 3 months, our relationship started to decline and rekindle, you know how that goes. Anyway, the last time I saw her she had a look in her eyes that told me she felt awkward in my presence (I tried avoiding contact too).

    NOW: I am still torn about not properly saying goodbye. We last texted a month ago and haven't seen or heard from each other since, besides the moment aforementioned. It's more on the fact that I want to make peace with myself and move on. I still have some feeling for this girl but I know what I can go back to and what is likely to happen (potentially friend zone or a road to nowhere).

    WHAT SHOULD I DO: Should I just let it be or text her (we are on summer break from school) telling her that there are no hard feelings and to say goodbye?

    Thanks for reading.

  47. Tom July 3, 2013 at 12:30 pm #

    Fuck. I was in a flirtationship with a previous girl for about 3 months. We both understood we had feelings for each other and had sex occasionally. Eventually I wanted to be in a more serious relationship with her, but she said she didn’t want to be with me anymore even though she had feelings for me, in person. That same day I hooked up with her friend in her own house because I said “Fuck it, she doesn’t wanna be with me anymore.” After leaving I blocked off all communication with her without even letting her know. Its been two weeks since then. Did I make the right decision?

    • maggot July 22, 2013 at 5:16 am #

      Oh hell yeah. Last time I wanted to break up with my Gf but I’m such a pussy and cheated instead. Then one She found out and bammm all of her friends hate me which is understandable.

  48. shinzed July 4, 2013 at 12:51 pm #

    what about if i break up and i pass that emotion time and after 4-5 month she want to back ( after i forget her completely )
    what is the best decision ? ( mention that i love her and i break up for some other reason )

    • Lawrence August 9, 2013 at 10:49 pm #

      I think if she wanted to brake up with you, she was bored. It's gonna happen again, she does not deserve you.

  49. Pablo September 28, 2013 at 8:34 am #

    What to do when a girl hates you because your hurt her best friend?

  50. Booger jones November 2, 2013 at 9:33 pm #

    Something that this article didn't mention about breaking up with a girl…is the importance of trying to break up with a girl without ruining your chances to fuck her friends, co-workers, family members, etc…

    The more harsh and ugly your breakup with your girlfriend is the more it guarantees she will tell everyone around her what an ASSHOLE you are. Girls love to label guys (especially good looking ones) as ASSHOLES! So be aware of this pitfall.

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  52. Vivi December 15, 2013 at 11:17 am #

    This article is even helpful to girls. It really helped put the pieces together on breaking up with my boyfriend. Following through is one of the most important steps. If you are considering breaking up with someone, they often catch wind of you possibly acting off and will try to do nice things/favors to try to keep things in place. It really plays at your guilt but you need to follow through with your plan.

  53. Golam Rabbani December 28, 2013 at 3:35 pm #

    Well, this is a nice break up tips. I think break up a relation mean start a new relation. My advice would be to work on changing your focus when you begin to notice the awkwardness/compulsions coming up. Focus intently on the words this attractive person is saying, the sound of their voice, the feel of your feet on the floor, the smells in the room, etc. Or pretend you're a visitor from the future studying this primitive person and their environment. Taking your focus out of your head, away from the internal struggle you're unlikely to win, and onto something involving your present senses can help defuse the problematic thoughts/feelings

    Dating tips:

  54. Luiz January 1, 2014 at 8:05 am #

    I'm not that good with girls, and even though I watch your videos and see your articles, I try to still on my own, being myself and don't mimic your tips and stuff, but I'm really impressed that you actually really take your time to answer almost every single comment in your site!
    I just love your work guys! Keep it up with the nice job!
    Greetings from Brazil!

  55. Rogan January 2, 2014 at 4:28 am #

    Hi, I've been together with a girl for over a year now and the passion has faded for me. I got into the relationship just as I started seeing success and having the courage to approach girls, then I stopped approaching and got a girlfriend instead. This has slowly been thawing away at my soul, and my approach anxiety is back. I even feel as if I've lost the traits that made me attractive in the first place and I've become really boring and lazy. It's time for me to end it but it feels sooo bad (i can barely sleep these nights..) She is the cutest girl, I was her first and she never speaks to other guys and basically is the perfect wife material – I just can't settle wondering what COULD HAVE BEEN if i just kept on approaching and developing myself. I still hate the tought of her being with other dudes tho, it kills me, but it's inevitable.. Hope she finds someone great, she deserves that. I need to live my own life, end of story..Just hope I can get my magic back, or is it forever lost? I just dont feel like I can have effortless conversation with people anymore which I could before the relationship and it annoys the hell out of me..

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