This is a common question we’ve been asked by many of you guys. We’ve been laying off, until now, because our advice on this issue is going to feel like a kick to your ballsack. It’s going to be harsh and long, but suck it up because you asked for it.
Why You’re in the “Friend Zone” in the First Place
There are many factors to why you’re in the Friend Zone, but the most common reason is that you didn’t move fast enough when you first saw her: we’re not saying to take out your penis and lay it on her leg the first time you meet her.
Telling her YOUR INTENT when you first interact can determine whether you’re going to be a potential “friend zoned” or “sexual” partner. An example of this can be as simple as telling her that she is cute, sexy, gives you a chubby… RIGHT AWAY.
Also, another big reason you could be in the friend zone is because of societies’ brainwashed theory that you have to be “friends first” before you can start anything with the girl. This mentality is stupid.
There are a bunch of stupid chumps out there who think you must start the relationship before the relationship. As in, you have to be friends first before becoming sexual monkey lovers. Most of these guys are just too pussy to understand that most girls hate this mentality because it does three things:
1. Girls don’t like guys who don’t know what they want. They like guys who are assertive, who lead, who are strong-willed. So, confessing to her is essentially showing that you’re flip-flopper. And, being indecisive isn’t an attractive trait.
2. She can see it as a betrayal of friendship when a guy finally confesses to a girl friend that he “likes her.” Do you know how many times we’ve heard “You just wanted to be my friend so you could get into my pants?” She trusted you, she confided in you, she fucking invested so much of her time to help you as a friend, and your confession means she wasted portions of her life she’ll never be able to take back. Why? because you’re essentially telling her that you’re a liar and a scammer.
It can be a parallel to cheating in an exclusive relationship.
3. You’re perceived as weak because you don’t have the confidence to pick up other girls. She’ll see your confession, that you like her, as a last desperation of hope that you want a girl in your life. And, as points #1 and #2 tell you, girls don’t like desperate and needy guys.
Wait, Jason, Does this mean we can’t have girl friends?
Jesse, Kong, and I all have girls who we consider to be real good friends. But, we’re not the type of guys who actively hang out or interact with them on a daily basis. A casual lunch, call, party invite, or hang out once in a while is okay. But, doing things as though you’re in a relationship: weekly movies, daily dinners, lunches, phone conversations… is time that should be spent on OTHER GIRLS. Any guy doing everything I just mentioned and not getting laid, is a chumpster.
Also, having girl friends can sometimes help you when it comes to “winging.” In other words, your girl friend can help you get together with other girls (her friends, introducing you to random girls at the club). Just don’t rely on this shit…
So, with all this in mind -
How to Turn a Friend into a Lover
You have tell her what you want. However, it comes with a few things in mind:
1. You have to show her portions of you she hasn’t seen before. No, we’re not saying showing your penis (just yet). I’m talking about showing the personality and life changes you’ve made recently. An example would be showing her that you’re more confident and assertive (than before you’ve been watching our shit). Or, a new wardrobe; just make sure to show her something you haven’t shown, of yourself, to her yet.
Right now the current traits she sees in you equates as friend traits. Showing her something different can make her believe that these new traits are lover traits. Again, this stems from learning a new skill (like guitar) to showing her your long lost brother that you found a few days ago.
SHOW HER SOMETHING DIFFERENT ABOUT YOURSELF.
2. You have to come into the mindset that she’s either a Lover or Nothing More. I repeat, LOVER or NOTHING MORE. Listen, you confessed you liked her because you just don’t want to be her friend, so if she rejects you, why continue to be her friend? You’ll just be lying to her and yourself that you’re okay with the current terms of your relationship.
However, if you do become lovers and it doesn’t work out, there is a greater chance that you can stay ‘just friends.’ But, we’ll explain this at another time…
This is one of the hardest points to internalize. Many men don’t have the balls to walk away from the friendship after their girl friend rejects their proposal to become something more. This option can be scary but your time on earth is limited – you have to take the chance to walk away if she says no.
3. Once you have points #1 and #2 engrained in your system, you have to now find the time to tell her how you feel. You don’t have to dress up in a bow tie or go on some special date (this isn’t a god damn reality show). All you have to do is find time alone where you can tell or show her your intent.
“I don’t want to be your friend because I want something more. Why? Cause I think you’re sexy, I like the way you talk about monkeys, I like how you bite your toenails… I want to take you out on a real date where there is a chance we’ll have sex.”
Basically, you have to make an emphasis on the sexual part. Isn’t this is why you wanted to be more than just friends? You already know her, you already like her, so it’s now about developing the sexual side of things. I can’t hold your hand and place it on her face, then grab your lips with her lips and smash them together… I’m not God, I can’t move you like a puppet.
It’s up to you to make it happen.
There isn’t really much more to say. You know what to do. You got this player.