I was working on a mayoral campaign in San Francisco and was headed to a debate.
The story begins when I entered into the auditorium room and sat next to a hot girl. Not cute hot or stuck up hot, more like aloof-hot. She had nice dark hair, smelled like strawberries, and was apparently bored.
I learned in the beginning that a few college students were attending the debate for extra credit. Knowing this and looking at her, I knew what I had to do… I had to hit on her!
This was a challenge sent by the heavens to see if I had enough game to get her number without getting myself or her in trouble. The room was filled with watchful eyes and if either of us moved our mouths, I know for sure we’d be doomed. I had to get her number without saying a word.
But How? What to do?!
I stripped and folded out a piece of paper and wrote:
And, threw it on her lap…
Are You Ready!?
We find it very useful to start with something shocking and questionable. Our minds are innately curious and therefore, her subconscious would be so inclined to proceed to flip the paper.
1. This works because of her non stuck-up, aloof vibe. This means that she is prone to be more playful than crumple the paper. There are different scenarios for different people.
2. She probably thought ‘WTF?!’ she probably gets hit on by demanding direct alpha-male toolbags all the time. This tactic is perfect: non-threatening, indirect, different, and a tad funny. Though a fan of both direct and indirect approaching, the latter is better when you know you’ll be in an uncomfortable location, with her, for a long time.
She turns the paper…
1. Starting with Tic Tac Toe
By drawing 4 lines and an ‘X’ on the corner box is an easy start. Games are fun, not only because she is able to participate but also she is also being challenged. Girls love men who can playfully-challenge them. It’s an adrenaline rush.
2. The Rapport
The girl’s first move was putting the circle in the middle. It didn’t really bother me because frankly, I didn’t care about the tic tac toe game. It was just bait. So what if it would be a cat’s game? It’s like meeting a girl at a museum… the pictures are irrelevant. I proceed to complain about her putting the circle in the middle (being ‘playful’). She of course is entertained about this ‘cuteness.’
Then, I talk about the guy who smells.
It’s good to talk and joke about the men who surround you (except your wingmen). This shows you’re cooler than the other chumps (do it sparingly; you can only go so far with it before you seem insecure).
‘P.S. Be Sly. Boss Watching.’
comment makes our interaction more valuable. It tells her that this is risky business. There is always a greater emotional investment when you’re a part of something that could be lost.
The next paper:
Any other time-engaging ideas!?
Always thank them when they do things you like. It’s simple positive reinforcement. For example, she feels better about herself for playing along. And, it’s the opposite when she does something you don’t like: I BOO her for not coming up with things.
(LOL NP. I’m not good at coming up w/ things :\)
Remember, the point is for you to challenge her. If you don’t challenge her then there is no real-investment to the situation. I certainly don’t want to think of everything, come up with everything, and be her constant mode of entertainment. I AM NOT A CIRCUS ANIMAL! Circus animals become pets (friend zoned). This is what we call, “back scratching.”
I want to be entertained by HER as well.
Listen, I don’t want her to tell me what to do, I just want her to be able to think on her own. I want to make sure that if she’s in a dark room that she can find her way out.
The other text is irrelevant. What matters is I’m pushing the fact that she has yet to think of something to do. Again, I’m testing her as much as she’s testing me. She’s wondering how far I will break and see if I’m the type of guy that will bend over backwards for her. I’m not.
I really wrote 5. Why? Because it catches them off guard and it’s playful. Hence the ‘hahas’ and the emoticons.
Jesse, how does this tie into the challenging part?
See, most guys will tease a girl about something for too long. They keep pressing her to do something she is unwilling to do. In this case, this girl is unwilling to do something impressive/creative. I decided that I’ll go about it in a different way and asked her questions which she answered.
1. When do you bounce out of here?
Until it end -_ -
I asked this question because it gives me an estimated time of when to ask for the number. You want to ask for her number before she leaves, but enough room where you both can still interact. It’s never good to get the phone number and then leave. It says that you only wanted her phone number and not her company.
2. Why are you here, then?
Political class. For a project
3. BIG QUESTION -
- Shopping Duh? Hahah
So far we’ve had enough rapport back and forth that it’s time to ask questions. When a man (who is hitting on you) is asking a girl questions right away, he is really projecting the “Will you sleep with me?” question. This usually prompts the girl to say: ‘Why are you asking?’ ‘Why do you want to know?’ And, it defunks your groove.
This is why we like to ask questions in the middle of the conversation. She will be ready and willing to answer because we’re comfortable with each other.
Hell Yes => Random
Always stick to your guns. Most guys try to change their opinions based on what she likes – DON’T!
This is why it’s awesome
(being random) -
like I said you’re pretty awesome to participate!
I remind her that we wouldn’t be doing this awesome thing if I wasn’t random. This makes her define ‘awesome’ as me. Then, I thank her for participating. Remember, positive reinforcement is a great thing because not only are you both comfortable, but she knows what makes you happy.
SHOPPING!? mmm. what about tennis? golf? sports?
yes shopping. I play, well I can play every sport. but I just suck badly.
Bingo. This is a big step because this comment alone tells me that she wants me to like her. How? She tries to prove to me that she is capable of doing something that I like doing (tennis/being active). It’s what men usually do with girls, just the roles are reversed.
Last Two Questions:
1. Please draw a picture – in this box
She draws picture
HAHA YESSSS! You’re like my favorite person right now…
aww how nice
This is what we call “follow the leader.” Follow the leader is when you tell her to do something and if they like you/interested, they’ll do it. Remember be honest; I really liked the picture.
Shit- I must go soon – mmm – any last ideas
BTW my name is Shirley it was nice meeting you
It’s a good thing when they give out their name without you asking, especially when you haven’t given out yours. Why? It means they’re really interested in meeting with you in the future. So, I tore another piece of paper because I wanted to make sure it was clean enough for my next move:
Anyways before I go!
( Her ) num - berr
The old finish or draw me a picture method of getting a girls number is what we call a lead-on. The directions are simple, just draw:
( ) -
Then, before you hand the paper to her, say or write something like, “Finish the drawing.” The lead-on is set. If the interaction went well she will gladly input her number. It’s fun.
I hope you learned that it is possible to get someone’s phone number without saying a word. The key components is to shock and awe, make her feel comfortable, challenge, provide positive reinforcement, honesty, rapport, and then be forward enough to ask for the number.
Remember, this was a longer experience than most because of the situation: we were sitting down in a 2 hour political forum. Therefore, this whole process was contributed to what we call as being indirect. It begins non-threatening and ends full circle with a positive result.