Top 10 Mistakes Guys Make on a First Date

top10mistakespeoplemakeonthefirstdate Top 10 Mistakes Guys Make on a First Date

First dates are fun because it’s the point in the interaction when the potential of getting to know each other goes beyond a text message or phone call. It’s when you truly get to judge each other from head to toe and first dates put you to the test to see if you’re socially competent.

Some guys dread the first date, but you cannot hide behind your phones, your text messages, or your instant messages forever if you want to get laid. We’ve given you tips before regarding first dates, What To Do On A First Dates & How To Break Silences.

But, after observing and coaching, we found out many common mistakes guys make on first dates. We hope after reading this list that you stray away from not making these blunders.

1. Not Being Yourself

This is by far the most crucial element when it comes to first dates. So many guys start changing their personalities or their style. They watch romantic movies and try to be like the charming lead character. Simply put, they become pathetic.

Remember, the reason why she agreed to the date in the first place is because YOU showed her something that differentiated you from the many other guys she’s interacted with in the past. I’m going to fucking repeat this: YOUR personality, wit, and anything else you possessed came out and she liked it enough to give you a try.

So, try not to overdo it with an over-exaggerated affect. Be yourself, period.

2. Not Getting Ready For The Date (Including Protection)

Shit, shower, shave. This is pretty much common sense.

Wear something casual that screams that you do laundry of some sort. Girls tend to like guys who are at least decently clean. This doesn’t mean you wear a goddamn tuxedo, just look good.

Lastly, don’t forget to pack a condom. If you end up having sex, it’s always good to be prepared. Besides you’re more likely to make a move if there’s security in your pocket.

3. Not Having A Plan

There is nothing more unattractive then picking up a girl and then saying, “So… where should we go?!?” I know we live in the 21st century but you are a man, you are supposed to LEAD. It’s essential that you have a plan before going out.

Besides, girls usually like to know where they’re going so they can wear the right outfit for the location. For example, if you both like playing tennis and you want to bring her to a tennis court, then telling her your plan would be a wise decision. You don’t want her to be wearing a nice spring dress to a tennis match.

This goes for restaurants, parks, hikes, whatever… basically, you have to know where you’re going. Of course you can switch it up and say things like, “I’ll pick the first activity, you pick the second.”

In addition, there can be times in the date where impromptu plans will be made. It’s fine to go with it – just know if anything fucks up at least you have a backup plan.

Lastly, when you have a plan, you’re able to bring her to different locations on the date (if the date is going well), which we call shuffling: an activity that can make you more attractive.

4. Lacking Physical Interaction Right Away

Getting laid requires you to touch the girl. Therefore, the sooner you begin touching the girl, the closer you’ll get to having your penis touched. A great way to get this started is by getting physical with the girl right away.

I’m not saying that when she walks out the door you should lift her up and begin making out with her (if it works great, not denying this move at all). Rather, I’m saying that as soon as you meet her, give her a hug or at least a high-five.

You’re setting up the mood when you start off being physical.

5. Giving Her A Gift

Most guys give a girl a flower or some special peace offering during the first date. Listen, you’re both not even in a relationship yet. Calm. The Fuck. Down. And, think of it this way. Are you going to give her something every single time you see her?

I’m not opposed to getting a girl “items of affection.” But surely not the first date. The first date is all about you, so I guess you could say the item of affection is you.

6. Paying For Everything

Most girls, especially now, are not really attracted to guys who pompously spend their money. In addition, you don’t want to sub-communicate to the girl that she can take advantage of you because you’re going to be paying for everything here on out.

If you’re too scared to ask her to pay for her half, what I like to do is say this: “I’ll take care of this, if you take care of that…” For example, “I’ll take care of the dinner, and when we get ice cream, you can take care of the dessert.”

7. Going To The Movies

First dates are all about conversation. I believe movies should be reserved for third and beyond dates. You can’t really talk during the movie and sometimes a movie can emotionally drain you.

Also, friends usually plan a date to go see movies together. Going to the movies can generally push you to the friend zone faster.

8. Not Understanding How To Face Rejection

Sometimes a date isn’t going to work. For example, her idol is Kim Kardashian or you say something that turns her off. Either way, it’s not always going to work out. And, if you feel like it’s going nowhere, it’s always good to just end the date right there.

Ending the interaction saves you time and from being dragged into something you both don’t want. Part of dating is figuring out what exactly you do and don’t like. You

But if the dates goes well, text/call and tell her that you had a great time.

9. Not Listening & Enjoying The Moment

Stop staring at her tits, her lips, or thinking about what she’ll look naked. If your sole purpose is to have sex with her, then just pay an escort to do your bidding. The best part of first dates is getting to know someone new and different.

You should actually determine whether you want to hang out with this girl after the first date.

10. Not Knowing When To Make A “Move”

So you’re sitting there on a bench or on some steps talking about your past relationships, movies, songs, or sexual mishaps. You’re both digging each other and yet neither of you are touching the other.

If the interaction is going well and you both are really hitting it off, it’s always good to make a move. Don’t know when to kiss her? Well here’s a rule: if you feel like you need to kiss her, kiss her.

Ending Notes

Though these are the main mistakes guys make on a first date, they can also apply to your future dates with the girls you’re already seeing. Now that you know what not to do, it is time for you to get off your ass, ask a girl out, and make it happen.

You got this.

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172 Responses to Top 10 Mistakes Guys Make on a First Date

  1. Luis June 11, 2013 at 11:29 pm #

    Good Advice you guys are AWESOME!!!

    • deegy December 24, 2013 at 5:35 pm #


  2. Cameron June 11, 2013 at 11:30 pm #

    Wow you guys are excellent. So I believe that the first date begins when you first meet a girl, and if you get a day 2 then that's the second date or whatever… I'll even go so far as to claim multiple dates with a girl I'm attracted to that has the same class as I do. Thoughts? Haha, SimplePickup for the win :)

    • JesseKongJason June 11, 2013 at 11:35 pm #

      I'm confused to what you're trying to ask here, but I'll rephrase to assume you mean this: What counts as a first date? To make this relevant to the article, the first date is when you ask the girl out after you meet her for the first time.

      • Cameron June 12, 2013 at 12:09 am #

        Thanks :)

  3. Arron (S30 Member) June 11, 2013 at 11:30 pm #

    When setting up a date, is it better to do it in the daytime or the night time? (not an instant date, but picking up a girl during the day, then setting up a date for the near future) I know night time is better for physical escalation, but then why would you want to make a date during the day time, especially guys like you (and me) who are really keen on getting physical. Could you give me a sort of summary regarding day time and night time dates and what you can get out of each of them?

    (Hope this makes sense)

    • JesseKongJason June 11, 2013 at 11:42 pm #

      I can't make this too long, but here's a suggestion when it comes to setting up dates. If you think the attraction is really high with the girl (as in she likes you a lot) and you want to get laid, fast. Then, set the date up at night. However, in all other cases (and most cases for me regardless the attraction level from the girl), I like to start the date mid to late afternoon (6-7pm).

      I do this so that way if the girl is cool, I can hang out with her more. If she's not, well at least I didn't waste my entire night.

  4. Carlos June 11, 2013 at 11:30 pm #

    Kind of a random question but do you guys think girls act differently when it comes to where they're from in the US? I've always had this inclination that West Coast girls are much cooler and more down to earth than East Coast girls.

    • JesseKongJason June 11, 2013 at 11:44 pm #

      It all depends on your state of mind when it comes to girls in the U.S. I've learned that girls are in the U.S., no matter where you're located, act almost all culturally the same. Of course some girls talk slower than others or move faster dependent on where they're from… but it's pretty much the same in the U.S. when it comes to picking up all girls: be confident, calibrate, and be direct.

      • Carlos June 11, 2013 at 11:49 pm #

        Totally understandable. I'm from Miami and latin (Cuban) girls have a tendency to blow most guys off. Its just in their attitude and demeanor. But fuck it, they'll respect my confidence when I show it to them.

  5. Mike June 11, 2013 at 11:31 pm #

    So does that mean she has to pay or we split it ? Never really thought about that because it may become akward :)

    • JesseKongJason June 11, 2013 at 11:45 pm #

      I'm not saying for you to split a meal. Rather, I'm saying that you pay for one thing and she pays for another thing (at another location). I think you should almost always pay for the first thing (if it's dinner, then dinner) and then just make it clear (in an joking/serious tone) that she should get you for desert: "I'll take care of this one and you can treat me out to desert."

      • Veronica October 5, 2014 at 7:55 pm #

        I disagree. If you want a girl with class, a guy should go into the first date planning to pay for everything. If she's got class, and is not trying to take advantage, she'll offer to buy a round of drinks or dessert – especially if you go to a second location so there is more than one check to pick up. If that doesn't happen, a girl with class will make a gesture before or on the second date, like coming up with movie/show tickets or something similar. I had a date with a guy once who paid for everything on the first date, and had just gotten a new pet. My first gesture was to send a gift for the new pet before the second date. Then he knew I appreciated him, and didn't intend to emasculate him.

    • Steven June 11, 2013 at 11:57 pm #

      What I do sometimes is I try to make the situation funny. For example you can joke about how you have to pay "So, it's up to the guy to pay again eh?" *she laughs, says something like no no, I can help* but then you can say "Haha, I'm only teasing. Though desert (or whatever) is on you." I don't know, be creative. Never feel awkward or you'll ultimately look awkward, and you don't want that. Good luck!

      • WayFastTippyToes June 16, 2013 at 9:32 am #

        That story sounds fake.

  6. Mucica June 11, 2013 at 11:31 pm #

    i have the trouble witht ouching, what is the appropriate kino way to initiate physical contact, and in what way should i touch a girl for the kiss close, soory for the long question…

    • JesseKongJason June 11, 2013 at 11:47 pm #

      The first thing you should do is to hug her when you meet her. If you don't close then hugging her at the end of the night would suffice. If you're having trouble being physical, I say practice your hugging technique with your friends / family. The more comfortable you get when it comes to you being physical with anyone, the easier it'll become when being physical with girls.

      Kiss close? Follow the suggestions in the article.

  7. Kevin Nguyen June 11, 2013 at 11:31 pm #

    When going on a date do you prefer looking nice with like an express button up or more casual like american eagle?

    • JesseKongJason June 11, 2013 at 11:48 pm #

      It depends on where the date is going to be held. Honestly, I like wearing a v-neck, pants, and sneakers. The rule I follow when it comes to fashion is this: "if it looks clean and it fits me, I'll wear it"

  8. Peter June 11, 2013 at 11:32 pm #

    What about taking her in a place for dance clases?? I made this one time :)

    • JesseKongJason June 11, 2013 at 11:49 pm #

      That's a really cool first date suggestion. I hope you followed it up by bringing her to another location (like an ice cream parlor or a hike).

      • Veronica October 5, 2014 at 8:01 pm #

        Yes, this a really cool suggestion. And, it gets you both past being uncomfortable about touching. If she's attracted to you, you'll know really fast by her eye contact and body language. You'll also get feedback from the dance instructor who will naturally coach the girl to relax if she seems uptight around you.

  9. Vish June 11, 2013 at 11:32 pm #

    How long do you guys think you'll be doing Simple Pickup for?

    • JesseKongJason June 11, 2013 at 11:51 pm #

      I think Simple Pickup will always be with us till the day we die. We've now made it our goal and mission to help as many guys as we can with their dating and personal lives.

      • luvQvist June 12, 2013 at 12:26 am #

        So how would simple Pickup videos look like when you guys are 50 or 70 years old :)?

        • i like trains July 6, 2013 at 4:43 pm #


        • rafa May 20, 2014 at 4:09 pm #

          how to change your 60 years old wife for three 20 years old ones…

  10. Matthew June 11, 2013 at 11:33 pm #

    Today, I was going for a jog, and I saw 2 really hot girls walking by. I wanted to say hi, but then I remembered i was sweaty and red-faced, so I didn't do anything. What would you guys say I should do if this happens again?

    • JesseKongJason June 11, 2013 at 11:52 pm #

      DGAF (Don't Give A Fuck) and approach them. In Project GO we have an episode called, "Approaching Girls in a Hurry." Yes, they may be in a rush (or you're jogging along) but it shouldn't stop you from taking a chance and approaching them.

      • Matthew June 12, 2013 at 12:03 am #

        Thanks so much for responding guys. I will keep this in mind the next time I’m running at the park. :)

    • alexanderje June 12, 2013 at 1:26 am #

      Girls are like spiders; they’re often more afraid of you than you are of them.

      • alexanderje June 12, 2013 at 1:29 am #

        (Afraid= insecure)

        • i like trains July 6, 2013 at 4:46 pm #

          yeah, you better clarify it

    • santiago July 23, 2013 at 4:02 am #

      maybe you feel like this when you are about to talk to women because you think of talking with them as if you are playing the wimbledon final and because you don't want others to thing you are picking up those girls.
      At least this was my problem until i realized of it and changed my mindset of women. they are people just exactly as me.

    • Veronica October 5, 2014 at 8:04 pm #

      Do it! Be yourself, as Simple Pickup suggests. Most importantly, it shows that you're confident – which is really hot!

  11. Chris June 11, 2013 at 11:33 pm #

    First date: Out for drinks? Yes/no. I have heard it's better to take her out during the day to a low key activity. What if we both don't live closer and a few miles apart from a city.

    • JesseKongJason June 11, 2013 at 11:53 pm #

      If she's far away, it's a good thing then to start earlier in the day. This way if she's really cool you have the whole day to spend, but if it's not you can leave early and save some gas money.

      • Chris June 12, 2013 at 7:11 pm #

        Entirely true, thanks guys.

  12. Indian Guy June 11, 2013 at 11:34 pm #

    What is the best way to keep a conversation going during a date? Or how do you prevent it from getting to that 'dying convo' stage? Can you guys give me some quick tips that I can use to get better so that it become more natural with time?

    • Steven June 11, 2013 at 11:53 pm #

      Hey man, I've personally come to know that if a conversation is dying you don't need to bust your ass to start a new one. Sometimes it's refreshing and welcoming to share some moments of silence where both you and the girl don't feel awkward. It's more natural that way, I mean, you don't want to look nervous and try to come up with boring talk. Hope this helps you!

    • JesseKongJason June 11, 2013 at 11:54 pm #

      We wrote an article, which should help. There are also other articles on our site that can help with your question:

  13. lhpoynter June 11, 2013 at 11:34 pm #

    do you guys have personal twitters?

  14. marios June 11, 2013 at 11:34 pm #

    So when I see a girl checking me out I freeze. And when I dress well I feel uncomfortable because I'm not used to getting attention from girls. One girl complemented me on my hair and I freaked out and left. How do I get from here to actually having conversations?

    • Steven June 11, 2013 at 11:55 pm #

      Honestly, from my experience, just say "Hey!". If she replies, that's good and it means you can try to say something about the location you're or or whatever. If she doesn't say hi… well, you could try to ask how she's doing but it's most likely that she doesn't want to talk. Good luck!

    • JesseKongJason June 11, 2013 at 11:56 pm #

      So you freeze when a girl checks you out? When a girl compliments you say, "Thank You" and then compliment her if you think she's cute as well. Then, start the conversation by saying "Hi, I'm Mario, what's your name?"

  15. Anonymous Canadian June 11, 2013 at 11:35 pm #

    I lost my virginity two nights ago in Cabo San Lucas Mexico thanks to you guys. I used Kong's marriage technique to facilitate a honeymoon in my bedroom. How rewarding is it for you all to positively impact the lives of men?

    • JesseKongJason June 11, 2013 at 11:59 pm #

      Awesome! I'm speechless because this is what we want to do, we want to help guys with their dating and personal lives. I hope you keep it up and even if you get into a relationship that you never ever stop practicing your pickup skills.

  16. Bobby June 11, 2013 at 11:36 pm #

    How to go out with a girl you met on a dating website? Group of friends, my friends and her friends? and what should we do?

    • JesseKongJason June 12, 2013 at 12:05 am #

      I'll answer the question I'm the most experienced with: group of friends. These types of dates are really fun because you can play with your friends and get to know her friends as well. Then, it's up to your friends to lift you up and make you look good while you also win over her friends. Then, once everyone is comfortable with each other, isolate her for a little bit and do your thing… then come back to the group and chill with her.

      Make it seem like you're a couple, so that way the group can be like "you guys are cute…" or whatever groups so to make couples feel happy.

  17. Emmett Lawlor June 11, 2013 at 11:37 pm #

    Even in articles at 12:32am you guys can make me laugh (y) Respect, Players.
    I have a situation, this girl began chatting me on Facebook, she lives in the same county (state) ice called her a couple of times and she keeps rejecting when I ask her on a date, but yet she's constantly flirting with me? D: she's not a catfish, she's either leading me on or just a bitch xD Other guys say she's shy to them, how can I convince her to go out with me?

    • JesseKongJason June 12, 2013 at 12:07 am #

      If she is leading you on then you have to be straight forward with her and say something. "Listen, I'm not here to play games, I think we should meetup… if you're really a man on the internet then I understand and we can stop now. But, if you're real then let's meetup, I don't like games and can no longer talk to you if we don't meet up."

      You have to be willing to walk away from this.

      • Emmett Lawlor June 13, 2013 at 12:06 am #

        You guys are kings! She agreed to see me :D
        Maybe she'll break the no fap challenge for me;) know what I mean..

  18. Maloshi June 11, 2013 at 11:37 pm #

    When a girl looks at me I feel that she knows that I'm just desperate as fuck and I instantly feel weak before even talking to her . WTF?

    • JesseKongJason June 12, 2013 at 12:08 am #

      If you feel weak or desperate, she will feel that you are weak or desperate. It's all inner game, so do yourself a favor and just THINK you are a badass. Remember, "act it until you become it."

    • Jake January 13, 2014 at 2:27 am #

      do nofap (no porn). I swear its not natural for men to feel the way you describe. I used to have the same feelings. all my friends do nofap now and none of us get that anxious feeling anymore.

  19. Robin June 11, 2013 at 11:40 pm #

    Is it possible to have sex on the first date? If yes, how do I introduce the subject

    • george June 11, 2013 at 11:46 pm #

      Are you serious? Let me introduce you to the fact that you will never have sex if you keep asking stupid questions like that.

    • JesseKongJason June 12, 2013 at 12:09 am #

      Yes. Put yourself in a situation (your room / closed car) where you can have sex with each other. You can introduce the subject of sex by making out with her, fingering her, pulling her into your room…

  20. vale June 11, 2013 at 11:42 pm #

    how do you avoid getting into interview mode if the girl is nervous and shy at first?
    Also, are you guys every going to give bootcamps in europe? That'd be sick

    • vale June 11, 2013 at 11:44 pm #


    • JesseKongJason June 12, 2013 at 12:10 am #

      Ask statements instead of question. Also, if she is a shy girl we have an episode on Project GO called "Shy Girls" it's over 10 minutes and very detailed for your situation.

      • vale June 12, 2013 at 12:14 am #

        im guessing the lack of response to my second question means you aren't going to bring your bootcamps and such to europe :(

  21. Scorch June 11, 2013 at 11:42 pm #

    I remember you guys saying that talking about utter non-sense a.k.a. random stuff is a good way to practice conversation and to keep it interesting as talking about school, work, family and the like is pretty safe and can get boring. I've been texting this girl I met for almost a month now, we've only been one one date so far since she lives kind of far away and she works a lot so she doesn't go to her hometown that often. I know the date went well and that she's into me (I'm not the only one who texts her to start a conversation, sometimes she starts them with me), but lately we haven't been talking that often, even though I've made no changes to how I talk. How can I keep it interesting for her?

    • JesseKongJason June 12, 2013 at 12:11 am #

      If she lives far away, play online games with each other. But honestly, if you're not seeing her in person than what's the point? Plan another date and see her ASAP. Physical distance can only last for so long.

      • Scorch June 12, 2013 at 12:34 am #

        Her hometown is also my hometown, but we live in different cities for university, usually going back for holidays and when we can. I mean, I don't mind going all the way to her city just to see her, but wouldn't be that be too aggressive of a move considering that I've only known her for a month and we aren't officially a couple?

        Side note: I did plan a date, I'm supposed to see her on Saturday. Me being able to see her is pretty much dependent on her schedule.

  22. Vladimir June 11, 2013 at 11:42 pm #

    I found this girl that I really like, she is kinda like my ideal girl, but she is sorounded by so many guys that look way better than me. How can I call her attention? How can I proof her that I could be a better boyfriend than all the other guys?

    • JesseKongJason June 12, 2013 at 12:13 am #

      Be a boss, approach her, be direct, and see if you're meant for each other or not. Waiting for the guys to disappear or for you to somehow get a large amount of money / status / six pack will never ever get you close to her. In addition, you will never know if she's your ideal girl until you interact with each other.

  23. Marcus June 11, 2013 at 11:43 pm #

    Whats a good opener to use when youre already in a relationship and approaching strangers. Is it still okay to call them cute/sexy without "cheating"?

    • JesseKongJason June 12, 2013 at 12:15 am #

      Yes. You're only cheating if you get her number, then setup a date, and then have sex with the girl. Also, it's also cheating if you're texting back and forth with the girls you flirt with. In addition, you should be honest to these girls that you're in a relationship…

  24. Wullie Brown June 11, 2013 at 11:44 pm #

    What should i wear on a date?

    • JesseKongJason June 12, 2013 at 12:15 am #

      Depends on the location of the date. My general rule is: "if it's clean and it fits, I wear it."

    • Anon June 12, 2013 at 12:21 am #

      Whatever you feel comfortable? It's always good to look presentable and making a good first impression/last on the first date ( this is what works for me ). She liked you, FOR YOU, becuase YOU were funny/charismatic/outgoing/charming/smooth etc. NOT becuase you wore nice clothes.
      To sum it up, clothes should not affect your game in anyway (unless you dress like a hobo, which you wont?) and just wear what works for you.

  25. Jerry June 11, 2013 at 11:44 pm #

    What to do when girls flake after you get a phone number ( in this is like 2 numbers a day; I am approaching)

    • JesseKongJason June 12, 2013 at 12:16 am #

      Try a few days later, then a week later, then a month later… then move on.

  26. Anthony June 11, 2013 at 11:48 pm #

    What to do when a girl texts you and all the sudden stops? Happens to me all the time.

    • JesseKongJason June 12, 2013 at 12:17 am #

      Usually this happens when the text leads to nothing… and when I mean nothing, I mean you're not setting up a time to meet her in real life.

  27. waymore June 11, 2013 at 11:56 pm #

    What if you have a strange surname ? If your surname means sth particular in the country you live or at least gets pronounced like that because you cannot pronounce it different in that language.It has affected my self-esteem a lot through life,the thing is I know I wont be called like that because first of all its pronounced differently in my mother tounge and secondly it gets a different meaning.Especially when I meet new problem,its a diffulty because I know I dont want to be pronounced that way but its kinda inevitable in the german language..

    • JesseKongJason June 12, 2013 at 12:18 am #

      I think it's time to DGAF (Don't Give A Fuck).

  28. AdDragonswed June 11, 2013 at 11:59 pm #

    Do I need these * What not to do * If I only want her as a fuck buddy? Like Listening & Enjoying Her Company?

    • JesseKongJason June 12, 2013 at 12:19 am #

      Listening to her would be kind of a crucial element when it comes to persuading a girl to become your fuck buddy. Enjoying her company? You only need to be enjoying her company if you're dating her… but shouldn't you at least enjoy her company when you both are having sex (at least during the intercourse part)?

  29. Lon June 12, 2013 at 12:01 am #

    A lot of good points made in this article. I've been up to date with all your videos and now have a girlfriend which said yes to me on the third date.
    There has been a lot of issues with my friends assuming that you have to up your game or else the relationship gets
    "Boring" which is quite strange. Maybe you are slowly losing interest in your lover or losing the spark?

    What are your thoughts on the "Relationship slowly gets boring issue"

    - becuase relationship tend to begin on a NATURAL HIGH, then slowly dips as you stay together longer? An issue with most of my mates.

  30. Stuart June 12, 2013 at 12:03 am #

    Hey guys, I really want to know what to do/ talk about when I go out on a first date with a girl I've known for a few years? I know I can do pretty much anything but do you have any good tips?

  31. Christian June 12, 2013 at 12:14 am #

    Awesome timing! I have a first date in two days :D

  32. YaBoi19 June 12, 2013 at 12:17 am #

    Where is the best place to meet girls? I am a 19 year old college student, about to turn 20. I do not hang out that much, but I want to know places I can go to try to pick-up girls. I am shy at times, but for the most part I can hold a conversation, it is just nerve wracking to approach, and when I approach a girl I get nervous before asking for her number (bitch butterflies lol). What can I do to get rid of that horrible nervous feeling?

    • Jacob June 12, 2013 at 12:36 am #

      Practice dude

    • Christian June 12, 2013 at 2:33 am #

      Hey man, I'm a 19 year old college student too. I finally got my first three numbers this past weekend after approaching random girls for about a month. I got a lot of rejections, but I used that for fuel to motivate me. I was the same way, nervous, didn't know what to say, and sweaty. But what I learned this weekend is that it aint hard. Just go for it. After I got my first number I was surprised how easy it was.
      Be you. Say whatever you want, as long as its genuine. If they are cool, I usually say "hey so you seem pretty cool, lets exchange numbers"… just ask and go for it. You never know what will happen! In two days I have a date with one of those girls (I never expected that to happen)
      Go for it. You got this buddy!

      • Lon June 12, 2013 at 3:22 am #

        TIme and practice is the way to go. More you go out, more you will get rid of BB. which means more confident in future ! Good luck man :)

  33. James June 12, 2013 at 12:27 am #

    Hey Jesse, Kong and Jason,
    I have a girlfriend and everyone's pretty shocked that I got the hottest girl our age. You had a lot to do with it. The problem is she had a rough ex which was the only person she was in a relationship with before me. She was usually not allowed to do things other than hang out with him. For this reason ive given her her space and I don't mind her going out with friends, but sometimes it gets to the point where I don't think im being put in as a priority. At one point we hadn't seen eachother for 3 months and she sometimes doesn't reply till texts till 5 or 6 hours later. What can I do to get her to want to spend more time with me and text me more frequently.

    • Robert October 27, 2013 at 4:40 pm #

      Try calling her. She might not reply to your texts right away but if you call her she might answer an if not she's probably busy. If she ignores your calls for a bit I think it's time to talk to her about it.

  34. David June 12, 2013 at 12:34 am #

    What mistakes do guys make in bars and clubs? WE NEED ADVICE ON THIS!

    • Lon June 12, 2013 at 3:25 am #

      Things that i have realised in bars / clubs: Guys are not being social enough, this may include just chilling with your friends or standing against a wall and not doing anything and taking any initiative and talking/picking up girls.
      Bars/Clubs are mean social environments, which means you should be as well. Otherwise you are doing it wrong.
      With that being said : if you are trying to pick up girls at bar/club – be more social. Get closer to them while talking ( cause of loud music ).
      Don't be too shy cause everyone should be pumped up at the bar.

  35. jake June 12, 2013 at 3:20 am #

    This girl i like somehow found out i liked her and sent me a text saying she wasn't interested blah blah blah sorry for making you think i liked you and that she was too old for me anyways (a year or two). i dont understand why she would hang out with me as she liked me and then do this…is it because she saw me as a friend?

  36. Ramzee June 12, 2013 at 4:56 am #

    Great article guys. I do have a question though, but it's on a different subject. In the "She likes you, calm down" article you guys stated that if there's no hint of reaction on her end when you try to make plans with her, you should back off on the aggression. So would that mean it would NOT be a good idea to try and make plans with her again in a few days if you don't hear from her?

  37. Haber June 12, 2013 at 5:52 am #

    Hi I am from Croatia, and my grandpa

    died four days ago and i want to change

    my character because every girl didnt

    thint for me that i am serius (they all think

    that i am just another one funny guy). I

    want to be that guy in group that was

    with every girl. So i want to know if you

    can give me some pickup lines that are

    funny and serious, and some advices how

    to aproach girl na group in this situation:

    there is one day when teenagers come to

    park and they drank alcohol (some are

    drunk and some didnt). Tnx

    • weqweq October 16, 2013 at 7:22 pm #

      Thanks for the poem.

  38. Brian June 12, 2013 at 7:21 am #

    Where do you guys buy your V-necks at?


    What is the name of the song that you guys used for Simple 30?

  39. Snork June 12, 2013 at 9:56 am #

    Isn't it sometimes good to end the first date abruptly by saying oh shit I have to go ? (takeaway) I tried this when the girls were into me the most and mostly they messaged me afterwards saying they want 2 see mee again in short time…

  40. Anders June 12, 2013 at 12:39 pm #

    Hey Guys,
    do you text all girls after the first date (that has gone good) and tell them that it was fun, and that you want to meet them again?
    It feels very needy doing this, what are your thoughts?
    Also do you always reconfirm a date that same day by texting/calling her, or do you just book a day and time and expect her to show up?

    Thanks guys.

  41. Snugiebum5 June 12, 2013 at 1:17 pm #

    Hey guys, i have a few problems.
    First of all i am very big (mainly tall), so girls are easily intimidated by me, what can i do to fix that.
    the second thing is that i am blind on my right eye, and it doesn't always follow the movements of the other eye and it ends up looking in a different direction.
    I would love to get your help so please answer.

    • You're welcome June 29, 2013 at 3:22 am #

      From my experience and some of these articles and videos, confidence is the main part of the whole thing. Look up guides on how to be funny, because humor gives off confidence to the girl and she'll be laughing so hard she won't be freaked out by your eye. Then maybe do some of the physical stuff shown in this article and take her to your place and BOOM! Sexual tiem! Also, don't stress about the height thing. If you don't worry about it, she won't worry about it, trust me.

  42. Alex June 12, 2013 at 1:47 pm #

    So I have a question.
    I live i a small town in sweden with few people, and every time I go out it feels like I am just walking around for ages trying to find a girl to talk to. Any tips on how to stay motivated to go out and pick up these "few" girls out there?
    Also, going to clubs is not an option for me (I'm only 15)

    • Veronica October 5, 2014 at 8:33 pm #

      My first suggestion is to talk to women of all ages, don't just look for girls your own age. You'll likely get some great advice from them about girls and dating, and could be introduced to their daughters or nieces or friends because you are confident and friendly.

  43. vale June 12, 2013 at 5:40 pm #

    are you guys ever going to come to europe for bootcamps or something?

  44. Gabe June 12, 2013 at 10:29 pm #

    Hey guys, I have a question. two hot girls are in my theater class, they are friends. How do I choose wich one to approach if they are equally hot and i like them both? Do you guys have any method for choosing when you are faced with a similar – rather pleasent- dilemma? My Best Reguards, Gabe

    • Robert October 27, 2013 at 4:50 pm #

      Don't think too hard. Approach them both. I wouldn't suggest at the same time. But I do suggest that you get both their numbers and see which one you connect with more.

    • Veronica October 5, 2014 at 8:39 pm #

      If they are very good friends, ask them both (together) to go to lunch. If you don't end up preferring one over the other, they'll let you know who is attracted to you. Trust me, they'll work it out between them and will find a way to let you know. Pay attention to who sits next to you first, who walks next to you more, etc.

  45. Kamran June 12, 2013 at 10:37 pm #

    What would be some good tactics for getting girls in a club when you are djying there? One of my thoughts would be to meet some girls and invite them to the clubs dj booth to party however I would like you perspective on this, i would appreciate it guys and thanks for your advice throughout the site!

  46. MASTER CHIEF June 12, 2013 at 11:31 pm #

    AWESOME question:

    i met this girl a few year ago, before knowig about SIMPLE PICKUP and all their fantastic stuff , and all i can say about her, it's that i'm crazy about her but i don't longer talk to her.
    the thing is that we started to know each other, hanging out, talking ALOT , and that stuff, but the thing that really suprised me it's that she used on me almost all the advice Simple Pikcup has been telling us; strong eye contact, qualifying, calling me instead of messages and all that stuff you already know. the truth about me is that i really didn't know how to hande this girl, i wasn't too confident about myself… i was being a pussy( because i didn't know about SP).

    So, my AWESOME question is; how the fck can i handle this girl, what sould i do? i've never met a girl who use these stuff on guys, and that's why i really like her, but i don't know how to start talking to her again.

    hope someone gives me his opinion on this, i'd really apreciate it.

    • Veronica October 5, 2014 at 8:43 pm #

      Call her and tell her you were thinking about her and wanted to see how she's doing. Let her give you the update, then tell her that you miss hanging out with her and would like to get together again.

  47. Esteban June 13, 2013 at 2:52 am #

    Random but I need some help. There's this cute girl at my highschool that I want to talk to. The thing is that she broke up with her boyfriend two weeks ago she still had feelings for him until today when she found out he was playing her or some shit. I'm pretty sure she's mad at him now. Im not sure if i should wait to approach her or go for it right now. Please help.thanks

  48. Iain June 13, 2013 at 3:06 pm #

    Ok! I spent two days speaking with this girl, we got quite chatty, spoke about all things! School, food, places to go, holidays! You catch my drift :-) i said to her that I wasn't in a relationship and she said she wasn't either, but last night she texted my saying she forgot to tell me she was "sorta seeing someone"!! Im not sure where to go and what is meant by that? Should I keep going for her or just move on to the next?

  49. Jacob Naidu June 15, 2013 at 1:27 pm #

    What would be the most important thing of simplepickup out of everything please tell me.

  50. Jacob Naidu June 15, 2013 at 1:30 pm #

    Well the most important thing in pickup

  51. Ricky Gomes June 15, 2013 at 1:44 pm #

    I need help. I’m 18 a virgin and shy as hell. I’ve seen you guys at work and its amazing what you do. I feel like my life is going to suck if I don’t get laid soon. I need your bootcamp or something that can help me break out of this comfort zone. It’s starting to control my life and I’m not sure what to do. So please simple pickup help me out here. I have social anxiety and I was able to push through it and achieved god mode once. I talked to a lot of girls but all were taken or uninterested. After that I thought I stopped my fear of approach but to my surprise my anxiety was back but stronger then ever. Now it’s hard to make eye contact. What should I do? Please answer!

    • pedro June 16, 2013 at 12:13 pm #

      something that helped me was this…. i was had the don't give a fuck mentality in the back of my mind, i tried to not give a fuck many times, but always had a lot a social anxiety, then i started asking my self why, and the answer that came to my mind was that i think to high of myself(but not in a good way), like i have to be protected…. too much ego…. so now i'm changing that, i think that i have nothing to loose, i don't have to make everyone like me and because of that i should not a give a fuck about anyone think about me and just live my life in the way i want. (sorry for my bad english)

  52. simplepfan June 15, 2013 at 4:33 pm #

    Guys, I just wanna say I love you guys because you guys are more than just about picking up girls. You guys promote how to live your life the way you wanna live it. You guys show us that you don't have to conform to the rules of society and most of all that its just about being yourself. I'm the type of guy that falls for a girl too quickly and then ends up getting fucked over. Thanks to you guys though i've had a shift in perspective, as soon as my school starts (in 10 days) i am going to be on every single fucking hot girl around. I love all 3 of you guys and just wanna say keep doing your shit cause you are helping out a lot of guys, and even girls – indirectly. Anyways who know if your gonna read this but yeah love you guys.

  53. Oliver June 16, 2013 at 2:27 am #

    So, I met this girl at a party. We didn’t make out but she gave me her number and fb. We chated on facebook and texting. I’m pretty sure she likes me and I like her too. My question is: Should I call her for these next college partys(like the one we met) or should I call her for something else?

    I fell like if we go to these partys we will make out. But if we go out we will probabily just talk. And just talk to her is awesome(she really interacts, we have a lot in comun, and the things we dont share we make fun about…) but I dont need, Idon’t want another friend that is a girl. I want a girlfriend.
    Sorry about the english. Not my mother language.

  54. Vipul June 17, 2013 at 8:07 am #

    They are pickup gods!

  55. Dark_angel June 17, 2013 at 9:28 pm #


  56. g27 June 18, 2013 at 3:54 am #

    how do iget my mojo back? seems like ive been fleeing from doing pickup, any tips on i can get myself back in action?

  57. SAm June 19, 2013 at 5:36 am #

    Can you give some tips on fuck buddies? How do you tell her or how do you show her that you just want sex?

  58. Trevor June 19, 2013 at 11:27 am #

    Can you guys give more information on setting up the second date? I read your article on what to DO on a second date but not HOW to set up a the next/future dates. Thanks.

  59. abdullah June 19, 2013 at 6:48 pm #

    hello my name is abdullah, there is a girl i really want to ask out but i am very shy so the problem i think is i dont hve the balls to ask a girl out could any1 tell their expierence how it went the first time maybe it will help me, and make it more easy to ask someone out, please?

    • Robert October 27, 2013 at 5:11 pm #

      Honest, the first time I asked a girl out I got rejected. The thing is you have to learn to not care that you have been rejected. I didn't know this at the time but from SimplePickup I have learned. I'd just say go for it and do what you think is right.

  60. Alex JOLLY June 20, 2013 at 8:38 am #

    Hi guys, as I read every articles you post, i've understood that being physical with girls is a key element in starting a "relationship". The problem here is that I'm in an electrical wheelchair, I don't have much mobility with my arms, unlike she sits on my lap, I can't really touch her. Do you think there's a way for me to be physical with her without touching her ? (like being physical with words maybe?). Any way, great job, you're awesome. (forgive me if my english isn't perfect, I'm french)

    • You're welcome June 29, 2013 at 3:30 am #

      Okay maybe I'm not the owner of this website but I can offer some advice. I think the best you can do is being physical with words, maybe dirty talk? I don't know this girl personally so it's your call. Also, be funny. It creates love hormones and she won't care about your disability. This is the same advice I gave to the guy with the lazy eye. Hopefully you and him will be in a "relationship", lolzeez.

      • Alex JOLLY July 1, 2013 at 12:15 pm #

        Thanks for your reply, that's pretty much what i've guess so far, so you confirmed it, the disability is not that important, i think i can even use it at adventage for being different than other guys.

  61. Roy July 4, 2013 at 9:03 pm #

    You guys inspired me to improve myself and now I am going to do one of the jobs you need shitload of confidence for, an entertainer. I want to thank you guys!
    I still have some problems going for the kiss. now my question: When do you kow if you can go for the kiss?

  62. Jones July 5, 2013 at 12:48 am #

    Hey guys I just wanna THANK YOU, before you guys I could never really go up and talk to a girl. I still have never had any luck in clubs and bars but i picked up at a gym and at Wal-Mart so that's kinda awesome. Now im happy…ish with the girl i have so its awesome thanks you are amazing, I love how you guys reply everyone here and other forums like reddit, you guys work hard.
    I gotta get my computer safe so i can be a member of project GO I'm too worry about my details getting hacked by all the viruses i have.
    Is it cheating being a member while you got a girlfriend??

  63. John July 7, 2013 at 9:56 am #


  64. ryan July 10, 2013 at 6:21 am #

    how do you makeout?

    • Robert October 27, 2013 at 5:15 pm #

      Youtube it. I did and every girl I've been with says I'm a good kisser.

  65. John July 12, 2013 at 5:05 pm #

    Guys i love your stuff, i really think your confidence advice has been an amazing help. Now i have a problem, a girl and i both really like eachother, shes turning 18 in a few months im still 16 and she feels weird dating someone younger than her cause shes never done it. She has had dating experience, in fact a 2 year relationship just ended, im just going to be the first younger guy ever. Shes sort of on the edge of getting with me although how do i convince her to try forsure, or to go on a date with me. If the girl is a bit nervous like this, where do i take her.

    If you guys can help me over the line with this ill love you forever <3 im really hoping you reply

    Thanks guys

  66. mike July 14, 2013 at 4:38 am #

    hey guys wheres a good place to pick up girls? me and my mate tried in town at night wen all the sluts go out around 1am but I find we don't have a chance cos they alredy know they can get any guy they want, any good place?

  67. Justine July 14, 2013 at 10:54 am #

    Hey, what if I'm not rich or don't have enough money? Can I still get the girl that I want? Especially if she's a high maintenance girlfriend or someone who's looking for a rich guy. Thanks.

    • Robert October 27, 2013 at 5:18 pm #

      If she's a golddigger it's as simple as she's looking for money not a man.

    • Veronica October 5, 2014 at 8:56 pm #

      Any girl, who is not a golddigger, would rather have a thoughtful gift. I have a friend who couldn't afford an expensive gift for his new girlfriend while they were still in university, but he had paid close attention to the things that made her happy. She really likes those straws that bend. So he made her a birthday cake, rather than buying it, and wrapped up a box of the bendy straws for her gift. Then he made arrangements for them to go out and meet her friends to celebrate. She LOVED it and, yes, he got laid and they ended up in a relationship.

  68. SingChau July 17, 2013 at 10:00 am #

    After i watch you guys video, i go for the best girl on the street. and i just do it like a boss! thanks . BTW i never call any of them back. becuz i love the doing it. and never gave real number to them tho.
    keep it up guys! always support

  69. Jdragon July 21, 2013 at 5:12 am #

    great article guys

  70. Exalar July 28, 2013 at 7:18 am #

    this may take mt to the whole new level, thank's you you guy's.

  71. PenisPickup August 1, 2013 at 12:51 am #

    At what point are you going to acknowledge that with all your articles and videos, it shouldn't be called SIMPLE Pickup anymore? lol

  72. Cooper August 2, 2013 at 3:47 am #

    I did all of those things except i didn't have a plan.

  73. john August 29, 2013 at 6:44 pm #

    Dont agree with number 6 completly. A lot of girls which I have spoken to expect the man to pay on the first date or at least insist. What I say if I like the girl:' No, I want to pay. You can pay next time'. If she agrees she also agrees with going on a next date. Win win. But if you don't like the girl, let her pay her half.

  74. Kaleb August 30, 2013 at 5:04 pm #

    I've been doing Simple 30. I'm on day 12, I met this girl yesterday I approached at my college. We went on just a simplistic coffee date at starbucks. Ended it with a tense makeout sesh before we left. BE A BOSS AND OWN YOUR DICK. You got this

  75. fisconsa September 12, 2013 at 6:41 am #

    When it comes to meeting girls (on the street, at the bar, anywhere) I am facing the same problem: Even though I have a good approach, the interaction from there on is "cold". The conversation does not differ in any way from a conversation I have with a male friend. Finally when I make a move at the end (number, makeout, I have even told girls straight up to come home with me) I get rejected, which I completely justify because I haven't done anything to excite the girl's emotions. So my question is: what are some ways to "warm her up"?, other than touch of course. How can I make the interaction more flirty and exciting for her? Should I just randomly throw sexual innuedos?

  76. Germano Zaffalon September 16, 2013 at 3:01 am #

    I live too far from my date and i also live with my parents. I don't have a car and it's kinda of bad take a bus and walk alot. What can i do to take her back to my place or have sex?

  77. Siang September 16, 2013 at 10:48 am #

    I got a girl's number a few days ago, and she's in a relationship with someone. She is pretty, but not really my dream girl. Should i still go after her? Btw, been trying to set out dates with her, but nothing works. She always need to work. Any tips?

  78. JessieAnne October 17, 2013 at 1:01 am #

    Eee. Not a bad column at all, especially the first point about guys not being themselves. Lemme tell you, I can smell it a mile off when a guy is following some idea of what he 'should' be, rather than being himself.
    I just wanted to post though, the sex stuff- there is no magical formula or pick up line that will get you laid most of the time. Understand that women get hit on constantly and it all starts to become incredibly disingenuous after a few years. We're actually just people, kinda like you. We also want to get laid, just like you (though some women seem perfectly content never having sex… >.<), it's just that we don't want to sacrifice, you know, being treated well to do it..?! You shouldn't need to remind yourself to actually listen to what she's saying, because doing that is just being a decent and mature person……………I mean, would you treat your mates like that? I hope not. and like the article says, being clear on that is a good thing. Most guys are though, I don' t think that's really a thing anymore.

  79. Jezza November 6, 2013 at 7:02 am #

    Guys (simple pickup) I am mostly like you in picking up, one thing I learnt that gets you in a relationship is showing the lead…
    however, I am not sure though is when a girl says I shall try and make time for this date.. should I ask her what she's doing at a particular time or should I be in the lead and just pick the date?
    And secondly.
    And when a girl says for example " I hope for the smoothie to be a amazing otherwise imma be vey disappointed" what should be my response to that? I have different responses to that, but I want opinion.

  80. Andrew November 13, 2013 at 3:26 am #

    Excellent tips. For me I feel like I have what to do down but actually doing it is the tough part. I have to work on keeping my nervousness low and not give up from getting what i want by excuses.

  81. Johnny Tran November 17, 2013 at 12:10 am #

    Any advice on what to do when double dating?

  82. Matheew Perry November 24, 2013 at 1:51 am #

    Dude wait we aren't supposed to pay for dinner and shit? I've been dating this girl for like 2 months now and I insisted on the first date it's on me and I've been pretty happy to pay for dinner etc since then… Wouldn't I come across as a cheap skate if I change that now? Or even when I start dating someone else, splitting the bill at dinner wouldn't I look cheap? I'm in college btw and this is the first time I'm dating!

  83. Jameseph December 1, 2013 at 7:43 am #

    My Mistake in first date.. my P E N I S grow and hard, when I first see her..

  84. DimaRusky December 6, 2013 at 2:47 am #

    Hey guys, do you go straight for the "dinner pay for everything" date the first time you go out with a girl? I have girls tell me that it's best to go with a casual coffee "getting to know you no moves involved date", because with the dinner date, girls feel an obligation/pressure to return the favor, and that can be too much for the first time.


  85. Johnny December 30, 2013 at 3:03 am #

    Hey, im 16 years old, does my age matter, if im trying to pickup older women?

  86. Grammar Nazi January 8, 2014 at 3:24 pm #

    I think it would be helpful if the titles of the sections were consistent. Top 10 mistakes are clearly well written, but No. 1 says "Not Being Yourself" while No. 3 says "Having a Plan". No. 1 is a mistake commonly made whereas No. 3 is obviously the tip you guys were trying to convey. Just trying to help some players out.

  87. BigDickJohnson69 January 22, 2014 at 11:53 am #

    so what if you don't currently own a car and aren't able to pick her up… you just make plans to meet at a curtain location?

  88. Gabriel January 25, 2014 at 12:56 am #

    You guys should make more videos and articles giving advices,because You guys are awesome and help is a lot

  89. Mike March 10, 2014 at 4:17 am #

    just about the very last part. i think you guys mean that you should tell the girl to kiss you. asking for permission to kiss makes you look weak as a man.

    • Veronica October 5, 2014 at 9:21 pm #

      No, asking permission to kiss makes it look like you respect her. Telling her to kiss you makes you look rude, egotistical, and pompous. You either need to ask, or just go in for the kiss with confidence.

  90. arash July 21, 2014 at 8:49 pm #

    hi guys i just have 2 question.we all know that all girls are not like the same.something that is turn off for one girl maybe be turn on for another girl.what happen if she dont like it when you say i pay for this you pay for that.or you ready to kiss her but she is not ready????.thanks guys take care.

  91. Markus July 29, 2014 at 11:25 am #

    Yup, It's nr. 10 I've started doing (or not doing). Actually it was the exact same setting and topics as you described on my date yesterday.

  92. Matt August 2, 2014 at 7:34 pm #

    Great.! So after i approach. Them and introduce myself do i just be like ‘ you and me we should go on a date.’ ? Then get her number?

  93. Christian McQueen August 6, 2014 at 12:57 am #

    Have you guys wrote about Home Dinner Dates yet? Saves money and good way to initiate physical interaction early on.

  94. Miss JD October 2, 2014 at 7:15 am #

    So I’d never go on a second date with a guy who tells me “I’ll take care of this if you take care of that.” It’s absolutely rude, ungentlemanly, and flat out controlling. On the other hand, I’d be completely smitten if my first date knows to pick me up, brings me flowers that I like, and pays for the entire date. Quality women need to feel that they are adored!

  95. Adam October 5, 2014 at 1:49 pm #

    If I take a girl to an early dinner for a first date, which usually works pretty well, then are you saying that she would find it attractive for me to tell the server to split the check? I can’t help but think I’d come off as a cheap dick. If you invite someone for food their your guest, and you should pay for them in my opinion.

    • Veronica October 5, 2014 at 9:45 pm #

      You're absolutely right.

  96. Austin October 21, 2014 at 2:26 am #

    Ok guys can you help me out? I’m 16 and I like this older girl who fucking gorgeous and I know I have a chance I jokingly askd her to come over when I was sick and she was there in minutes, but when I asked her I on a first date which was movies at my house which was her “dream date ” and she said yes, but when it came time for it she said nothing and flaked what should I do and should I keep trying? Also if I do keep trying how exactly to I go in for the first kiss I’m a complete puss normally when it comes to that kinda thing?

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