First dates are fun because it’s the point in the interaction when the potential of getting to know each other goes beyond a text message or phone call. It’s when you truly get to judge each other from head to toe and first dates put you to the test to see if you’re socially competent.
Some guys dread the first date, but you cannot hide behind your phones, your text messages, or your instant messages forever if you want to get laid. We’ve given you tips before regarding first dates, What To Do On A First Dates & How To Break Silences.
But, after observing and coaching, we found out many common mistakes guys make on first dates. We hope after reading this list that you stray away from not making these blunders.
1. Not Being Yourself
This is by far the most crucial element when it comes to the first dates. So many guys start changing their personalities or their walks. They watch romantic movies to copy every line the lead character vomits out of his mouth… simply put, they become pathetic.
Remember, the reason why she agreed to the date in the first place is because YOU showed her something that differentiated you from the many other guys she’s interacted with in the past. I’m going to fucking repeat this: YOUR personality, wit, and anything else you possessed came out and she liked it and wanted to give you a try.
So, try not to overdo it with an over-exaggerated effect of different romantic role models you currently have in this world. Be yourself, period.
2. Not Getting Ready For The Date (Including Protection)
Shit, shower, groom. This is pretty much common sense. I mean hell, if your brand is all about looking and smelling like a deprecated homeless man, then so be it. But, more often than not, it is always good to cleanse your body with soap and water (at best water).
Wear something casual that screams that you do laundry of some sort. Girls tend to like guys who are at least decently clean. This doesn’t mean you wear a goddamn tuxedo, just look good.
Lastly, don’t forget to pack a condom or a glove. If you end up having sex, it’s always good to be prepared. Besides you’re more likely to make a move and there’s security in your pocket if it goes even further than you expect.
3. Having A Plan
There is nothing more unattractive then picking up a girl and then saying, “So… where should we go?!?” I know we live in the 21st century but you are a man, you are supposed to LEAD. So, it’s essential that you have a plan before going out.
Besides, girls usually like to know where they’re going so they can wear the right outfit for the location. For example, if you both like playing tennis and you want to bring her to a tennis court, then telling her your plan would be a wise decision. You don’t want her to be wearing a nice spring dress to a tennis match.
This goes for restaurants, parks, hikes, whatever… basically, you have to know where you’re going. Of course you can switch it up and say things like, “I’ll pick the first activity, you pick the second.”
In addition, there can be times in the date where impromptu plans will be made. It’s fine to go with it – just know if anything fucks up at least you have your plan to back up with.
Lastly, when you have a plan, you’re able to bring her to different locations on the date (if the date is going well), which we call shuffling: an activity that can make you more attractive.
4. Lacking Physical Interaction Right Away
Getting laid requires you to touch the girl. Therefore, the sooner you begin touching the girl, the closer you’ll get to having your penis touched. A great way to get this started is by getting physical with the girl right away.
I’m not saying that when she walks out the door you should lift her up and begin making out with her (if it works great, not denying this move at all). Rather, I’m saying that as soon as you meet her, give her a hug or at least a high-five.
You’re setting up the mood when you start off being physical.
This also goes for holding hands: instead of anxiously waiting to hold her hands, lightly grab her hand when leading her to the destination (be it a car / restaurant / bike). Then, let go and repeat throughout the night until you’re holding hands for good.
5. Giving Her A Gift
Most guys give a girl a flower or some special peace offering during the first date. Listen, you’re both not even in a relationship yet so calm. the fuck. down. And, think of it this way: are you going to give her something every single time you see her?
Listen, I’m not opposed to getting a girl “items of affection.” But surely not the first date. The first date is all about you, so I guess you could say the item of affection is you.
6. Paying For Everything
Most girls, especially now, are not really attracted to guys who pompously spend their money. In addition, you don’t want to sub-communicate to the girl that she can take advantage of you because you’re going to be paying for everything here on out.
If you’re too scared to ask her to pay for her half, what I like to do is say this: “I’ll take care of this, if you take care of that…” For example, “I’ll take care of the dinner, and when we go to the Parlor you can take care of the desert.”
7. Going To The Movies
First dates are all about conversation. I believe movies should be reserved for third and beyond dates. You can’t really talk during the movie and sometimes a movie can really emotionally drain your brain.
Also, friends usually plan a date to go see movies together. Going to the movies can generally push you to the friend zone faster.
8. Understanding How To Face Rejection
Sometimes a date isn’t going to work. For example, she belches in front of you or you say something that turns her off. Either way, it’s not always going to work out. And, if you feel like it’s going nowhere it’s always good to just end the date right there.
Be nice of course; ending the interaction saves you time from being dragged into something you both don’t want. You must learn to let go and you must stop yourself from pulling her back and begging her to go on another date with you…
If the dates goes well: text / call to tell her that you had a great time and you would like to do it again.
9. Listening & Enjoying Her Company
Stop staring at her tits, her lips, or thinking about what she’ll look naked. If your sole goal is to have sex with her then just pay an escort (prostitute) to do your bidding. But, the best part of first dates is getting to really know someone new and different.
So, listen to her and figure out how she relates to you like if she’s actually pretty cool to hang out with in the future, etc. Most guys forget to use their ears and their smiles when on the first date. Yes, her body might be bangin’, but if you want the date to go well and have future success in the future it be good for you to listen to her and really enjoy her company.
10. Not Knowing When To Make A “Move”
So you’re sitting there on a bench or on some steps talking about your past relationships, movies, songs, kissing, sex, vaginal queefing… and it’s going well. She’s digging you, you’re liking her and yet. you both. are. not. touching each other.
If the interaction is going well and you both are really hitting it off, it’s always good to make a move. Don’t know when to kiss her? Well here’s a rule: if you feel like you need to kiss her, kiss her.
If you’re still having trouble, here are a few tips I like to use:
i. Hold her hands and then let go; rinse and repeat, then go for the full effect and bring her close to your body. Lean in. Kiss her.
ii. Have a conversation about massaging. Tell her you’re pretty good at massaging people and ask if she is as well. (If the interaction is going well then this should be a clear hint to her that you’re both going to massage each other). Then simply, start massaging each other.
It is from the massage that you can get comfortable touching each other, which then goes to straight to making out with her.
iii. Get close to her and then ask her to kiss you.
Though these are the main mistakes guys make on a first date they can also apply to your future dates with the girls you’re already seeing. Now that you know what not to do, it is time for you to get off your ass, ask a girl out, and make it happen.
You got this.