A ton of our videos, Project Go service, and our articles have focused on the first interaction and first dates when meeting a hot girl. However, we’ve yet to dive into the second date.
The Second Date
It’s a crucial interaction between you and the girl because it gets you closer, if you haven’t already, to doing something sexual with her: be it a makeout to sex. It is also a time where the girl is giving you one more chance to get to know her.
A main premise I’ve realized is that girls normally give a guy three dates (chances) before making a finite decision to stay with you, or kick you to the curb. This is why the second date is important because it’s the middle, the transition to the third.
Setting Up The Second Date
The second date should be setup during the first date. You do this by eliciting what we call, “future talk.” Future talk is where you include her in your future plans. For example:
You: The next time I see you I’ll take you to X and we’ll have a fun time.
Her: Okay. I’m down.
You: Cool, the next event is next week. I’ll pick you up.
Remember, you never ask her if she wants to go out with you again, you merely insist that you two will interact again. It is this confidence, combined with a good first date, that will lead you both into the second date.
Setting Up The Location & Paying
Unlike the first dates, the second date is a good time to bring her to a place where monetary funds will be used: restaurant, movie, strip club, etc.. (As we stated before in this article, a first date usually happens where you can easily get to know each other over conversation: a walk on a college campus, ice cream at a park, tennis, picnics…)
However, though you’re going to a place where you’ll be spending your hard earned dollars, it’s only the second date, so you have to make sure she adds her fair share of the bill. Listen, though it is a common thought that the guy must always pay, we advise against it in the early stages.
The reason I’m against it is because I want to make sure that the girl likes me, for me. To be used for money or to force the girl to thinking that she’s obligated to be with me because I paid, won’t make future interactions a pleasing one.
Lastly, my theory is if a girl pays for her own share (especially in the beginning) she is essentially investing resources into your interaction. This investment will more likely make her want to stay willingly, which will not only make future dates smoother, but also make sex even better (because she’s more willing than feeling obligated).
Therefore, make her pay (also, there are some really cool girls who automatically reach for the check). But, how do you do it without looking like a douchebag?
You verbally tell her what she’s going to pay for on the date. For example,
You: I’ll take care of this one, and you take care of the ice cream when we go to our next location
This does three things:
i) You’re showing confidence that you’re able to pay for the first meal.
ii) You’re telling her that if she wants to be with you, she has to put up her fair share.
iii) By eliciting that you’re going somewhere else for desert, gives both of you more time to get to know each other while exploring other avenues around town: shuffling a girl makes her more attracted to you.
Additional Second Date Ideas
Second dates are a good segue to show her a little more of your life. What I like to do is invite her over to my place to meet my friends before we go out on the town. Or, go to a house party after the date so she can meet the people I normally hang out with.
You want her to get comfortable with your life. See, the more you introduce and suck her into your life, the more likelihood that she’ll know how cool of a guy you are and want to have sex with you; or, if you’re into this stuff, stay with you (relationship).
Now, all you have to do now is setup the next date…