A ton of our videos, Project Go service, and our articles have focused on the first interaction and first dates when meeting a hot girl. However, we’ve yet to dive into the second date.
The Second Date
It’s a crucial interaction between you and the girl because it gets you closer, if you haven’t already, to doing something sexual with her: be it a makeout to sex. It is also a time where the girl is giving you one more chance to get to know her.
A main premise I’ve realized is that girls normally give a guy three dates (chances) before making a finite decision to stay with you, or kick you to the curb. This is why the second date is important because it’s the middle, the transition to the third.
Setting Up The Second Date
The second date should be setup during the first date. You do this by eliciting what we call, “future talk.” Future talk is where you include her in your future plans. For example:
You: The next time I see you I’ll take you to X and we’ll have a fun time.
Her: Okay. I’m down.
You: Cool, the next event is next week. I’ll pick you up.
Remember, you never ask her if she wants to go out with you again, you merely insist that you two will interact again. It is this confidence, combined with a good first date, that will lead you both into the second date.
Setting Up The Location & Paying
Unlike the first dates, the second date is a good time to bring her to a place where monetary funds will be used: restaurant, movie, strip club, etc.. (As we stated before in this article, a first date usually happens where you can easily get to know each other over conversation: a walk on a college campus, ice cream at a park, tennis, picnics…)
However, though you’re going to a place where you’ll be spending your hard earned dollars, it’s only the second date, so you have to make sure she adds her fair share of the bill. Listen, though it is a common thought that the guy must always pay, we advise against it in the early stages.
The reason I’m against it is because I want to make sure that the girl likes me, for me. To be used for money or to force the girl to thinking that she’s obligated to be with me because I paid, won’t make future interactions a pleasing one.
Lastly, my theory is if a girl pays for her own share (especially in the beginning) she is essentially investing resources into your interaction. This investment will more likely make her want to stay willingly, which will not only make future dates smoother, but also make sex even better (because she’s more willing than feeling obligated).
Therefore, make her pay (also, there are some really cool girls who automatically reach for the check). But, how do you do it without looking like a douchebag?
You verbally tell her what she’s going to pay for on the date. For example,
You: I’ll take care of this one, and you take care of the ice cream when we go to our next location
Her: Okay.
This does three things:
i) You’re showing confidence that you’re able to pay for the first meal.
ii) You’re telling her that if she wants to be with you, she has to put up her fair share.
iii) By eliciting that you’re going somewhere else for desert, gives both of you more time to get to know each other while exploring other avenues around town: shuffling a girl makes her more attracted to you.
Additional Second Date Ideas
Second dates are a good segue to show her a little more of your life. What I like to do is invite her over to my place to meet my friends before we go out on the town. Or, go to a house party after the date so she can meet the people I normally hang out with.
You want her to get comfortable with your life. See, the more you introduce and suck her into your life, the more likelihood that she’ll know how cool of a guy you are and want to have sex with you; or, if you’re into this stuff, stay with you (relationship).
Now, all you have to do now is setup the next date…
say word
LOL desert
I am thinking of doing meditation to help with anxiety, anybody have success with this?
Meditation is a good way to calm your senses
What's the most awkward thing that's happened to you on a first date? – Harry
The most awkward thing was when she was on her period – so when I went down on her – blood was everywhere
no fuckin way haha. thats hilarious.
Trick question, What to do on the first date?
you know they already have an article on that, right?
Check out the archive – we have an article regarding the first date
Well thank you.
Any ideas of how to convince a girl into a threesome??
Communicate and bring both girls together
how often should i shave my pubes?
We do it once a week
How can I get girls in MIDDLE school?
If you don't want to get arrested, don't. Unless you're in middle school, then in that case just follow their advice.
What happens if I run out of things to say? What are some good topics to talk about?
It's okay if there are silences sometimes – and if you guys are hitting it off and you're not forcing the issues – you should never have trouble running out of things to say – the best topics are things you read on a daily basis – so inform yourself on topics that interest you
this week was brazilian carnival and i made out with some 5-7 rated women and my friends(who got nothing) are making fun of me. what should i do?
Cheio de BR aqui haha
Who cares, you got action at the end of the day – it will be good practice when you approach a 10
I am 16 and I am trying to go out with a girl, she is 15, but she said that her mom doesn't let her go out. Since last month we are trying to go on a first date. What should I do?
Try going out during lunch – but we try to stray away from advising this 18 and under situations due to a potential legal issues
What's the best way to tell if a girl likes you or not when you're hanging out?
go for a kiss and tell her you think she's cool – if she responds – she likes you – also try holding her hand
How's it goin'?
Life is beautiful
How long from the first date should I set up a second?
Set it up on the first date – and how long? whenever you feel like it: the next day or a week later
What are the best ways to kiss a girl?
Practice by kissing your hand – the best way is to approach slowly and use your lips
what is your favorite date locations.. each of you have to choose two date locations each! your favorite! also if you have to give someone 1 tip before a date what would it be.. GO
Walking around the beach or just anywhere where we can get to know each other without getting interrupted: this is for the first date
how come you haven't been putting out videos every week?
We've been putting videos out every other week: we want to make sure that the videos we put our quality versions – so if we wanted to do it every week means the quality of our videos will go down; we also have a vlog, project go, and bootcamps that we have on a daily basis; we're working as hard we can and we're happy you still watch our videos because we put a lot of effort to make them happen
How many dates does it usually take till you fuck the girl
It can range from 1 date to 100; depends on how persistent you are and if she's willing
Do you guys tend to go on second dates alot? Or are you always having dates with different girls and rarely the same ones?
We tend to have multiple second dates with girls: we choose the ones we like the most
What's a good way to approach a girl on the dance floor in a really loud club where you can't really hear anything and can't make conversation because it's too loud.
We wrote an article called "Club Game Part {3}" where we talk about dance game
I wonder how far this will go?
Up to Uranus with our Voyager
What to do if I get too many flakes (numbers)
From now on call the girl's phone in front of her before you leave
What is the best way to lose my virginity? I live at home with my parents
Go to the girl's house or sneak her in your place
What do yo do if the first date went well but the second was shit?
Like should i try again or just end it
Either go for a third date, or forget it and move on
Where are good and interesting places to take a girl that aren't the movies or restaurants?
museums, a hike, college campus
When is a good time to tell a girl how I really feel about them. I have a bad history of waiting and it either gets me in the friendzone or I just sit and watch someone else come by and sweep her off her feet.
Tell her right away
thanks guys, I'll remember that.
best advice as always
SIMPLE PICKUP ! GIVE ME EXAMPLES of what to talk about AFTER the approach ! like after i've said: hi im X.
How do you even get the first date if you believe your texting with hilarity and asking at the peak of the happy suduced conversation?
Tell the girl to meet you at an X location and at an X time; make it clear you want to hang out with her in IRL
Thanks sometimes I do this tough and it still doesnt work. We hit it off hard though am I just asking to early? I know what your gonna say they probably don't like you but it really doesnt seem that way it seems more like their afraid to commit (insequre) my last girlfreind it took 2 months to finally get a date
When should you kiss her?
If you have a feeling that you should kiss her; it probably means you have to kiss her
Hopefully i make it to the top 30, I'm Asian and i'm been texting this girl in college but she didn't really respond to the text but we talk sometime in college what does this mean? Also there are a lot of hot girls around the college what should I do? Need Helps please
Player, stop texting her because it seems she is a waste of time or teasing you; if there are a lot of hot girls in your area then it is best advised to APPROACH THE OTHER HOT GIRLS instead
how to make the move on the first date?
If you feel like you need to hold her hand or kiss her; do it and see what happens
making the girl pay for second date its not a good idea it shows stinginess maybe for the third date that will be cool and also telling her in advance if she gonna be paying anything for the second date not to tell the girl minutes from the date that she gonna be paying for other stuff
You're still paying for both of you – you're going to tell her to take care of you for a later portion on the date
question 1
My BF/Crush has a boyfriend, but she let me touch her boobs but the next day she was like that never happened, she gave me wings and cut them the next day.
i already tell her how i feel. but shes on a relationship,
also she only talks about men, make up, and clubbing (things i dont like)
what should i do? stop talking to her, tell her everything (i already have but she was in the relationship)??
i dont find any other girl cute except for her in my school.
HELP what should i do? (im kinda pussy when talking to new girls i find kinda cute)
How to get in the mood to pick up girls
Hi! Im in this situation when i was introduced by some friends into a larger group of friends, within there is a girl who i knew days ago, and i believe we both get along really well, i like her, and i think she likes me too, but theres this problem, that everytime i see her we're both surrounded by our friends, so it basically doesnt feel like a date.. instead it makes it awkward to flirt with her, since it's a friend-jokes-fun context… could you please give me some advices to take her to the next level? how to deal with.. me, being friend of everybody else, but advancing with this girl, whereas in the same group… its complicated
i apologize for any grammatical error, my english is not perfect :/ and thanks, beforehand!
Dude, you have to isolate her from the group, talk to her when it's just you two. get her alone and maybe ask if she wants to go out sometime. hope this helps!
Federico, from my point of view and experience, the best you can do is to directly make it obvious by saying it in fron of everybody. Say that you like her and you wanna go further with her. I know you might think that this would make her feel unconfortable or even offended, but it's not! Use the previously built up confidence with her to get her number, and call her to have a one-to-one date. You're in a good position. If you got along well last time, she's very likely to like you already. If you don't go for it, she'll think you're a big pussy and you'll get friendzoned. También podemos hablar en español
cheers from Barcelona, Spain!
Lets say that we kind of already made it obvious but without saying it literally
and not for the others, thats what makes it awkward.. and hard to approach her while in a friend-environment, you just cant xD they cockblock you, its simply impossible. What i thought is that first i kind of need to get their 'approval' and that way it will also help to make it more comfortable to her, since i already get along with her friends.. it makes sense for me
y no para el resto, o sea y eso es lo que lo que se hace dificil, encararla estando rodeados de amigos.. no podes xD te cockblockean, es simplemente imposible. Lo que pensé es que primero tal vez necesite pasar un tiempo con ella y sus amigos, cosa de caerles bien y asi se va a sentir mas comoda ella, porque sus amigos ya me conocen.. tiene sentido para mi
Digamos que ya lo hicimos obvio pero sin decirlo literalmente,
Federico, divide and conquer amigo mio!
Separate her from the group of friends while you are with her, I'm guessing its the typical group of friends from Spain in a park or plaza or similar (I grew up in Malaga) so any moment just as her to go to the nearest shop with you to buy anything, chips, a sweet, pipas, whatever. Then you get some time with her. Another option is meet her just before meeting the group so you come together and have some time to talk, or also just walk her home (acompanyala a casa) and you get to talk to her alone. Read her body languange, do one of the tricks Kong uses in the video of how to win a girls heart, make her close her eyes and just kiss her. I'm sure she will like it.
i made the mistake as to paying to most of our dates, how I do diverted as where we pay equally?
Why are you guys so awesome?
soo all you are saying is that make her pay half of your dinner bill, right.
Congratulations for all your hard and excellent work. You guys are helping me change my life. Thanks from Mexico.
Quick question: Can you give me a tip on how to get in the mood to go out and approach?
In a scale of 1-10 in epicness, you guys are like a BIG 20!
You have helped me so much guys, I'm still in my "fail before succed" phase of leraning, but I progressed a lot since I began wathching your videos. Sometimes when I'm out of motivation and I think that I'm not made for picking up girls, I just read or watch your videos and it makes me go forward and try.
I'm kinda hard financial situation but as soon as I got the money I'm suscribing to PROJECT.GO for sure! thanx a lot to all of your 3.P.S: Is there any possibility to do the BOOTCAMP with you guys?
lol if you can't afford 5$ a month for project go, how do you expect paying ~1000$ for a bootcamp ?
I can't seem to put your tips to practice when i'm talking to a girl, its like studying for a test and having that sudden blackout. What can i do about that..?
How would you bosses handle this situation? How would you pickup a hot girl whose maybe walking or shopping with her mother or father.
They have adressed that in one of their project go videos.
Basically you wanna seem like a normal dude who's chill. You wanna get moms approval before getting the number. And also don't try to ignore the mom. It will put you in a bad situation.
Good luck playa
Thanks player this will help me alot
This was such a helpful advice i always ended up with the mentality " the guy must always pay," you've made me realize how to come over it and not even be a douche bag, thank you guys!
What if she didn't bring the money with herself and I told her, not knowing, that she's gonna pay for icecream?
Then take care of the bill and smoothly tell her that next ice cream is on her or something like that
AWESOME article. How often do you guys have dates on a weekly basis?
How do I deflower a girl?
american girls are so easy to talk to u can talk about any random shit and get they numbers but when u talk to another girl from a another country shit is different
Why can't I hold all these limiting beliefs!?
I agree and disagree at the same time, I've lived in 4 countries and been to many erasmus/international exchange parties. It just depends on the girl. If you show confidence she will probably be open to talk to you.
But, we can't avoid 100% rejections, it's part of the process of learning
h
WOW! Thanx a ton!!! Actually, I am going out on my second date with this hot girl I met in the library 2 days ago!!
What a timing ! Glad I checked your page today! Wish me luck!
Im 16… but i don't know how to drive yet what should i do for a date??? Help… please
Go to a juice/milkshake bar, its a place where you can have a good conversation or if you are a bit shy and you want a bit more time doing something rather than talking you can go bowling, it's always fun and there are usually arcades around so you have a range of activities to do and have fun!
btw… there's nothing interesting to do close to my house so i can't walk
buy a bike
For your next article, how do you talk-flirt with acquaintances? I mean, girls you know from high school or whatever but you never really talked to them so one cannot go like "hey ur really cure i had to meet you" but neither a too "normal" conversation or will be put in the friendzone
I usually sleep with them on the 1st or 2nd date. But I put in a lot of phone game.
What could it mean if she paid for dinner and wouldn't let you pay? She kind of went and paid before you could do anything.
Me: I believe the museum ticket price is around 20-40$
She: I believe it is 100$
Me: Wanna bet?
She: If it is over 100$ You pay, if its not, Im paying
Me: Its a deal.