My name is Kong, and I’m an introvert.
Videos on YT might make me seem as extroverted and lively; I am… but only in social situations. Behind closed doors, I’m the opposite.
Being an introvert sometimes feels like a disability… a disease. Sometimes it feels lonely, and that’s why a lot of people are ashamed of being introverted. My take on it is you shouldn’t have to explain or apologize for having a certain type of personality.
Extroverts
Before we discuss further about introversion, I want to talk about extroverts.
Extroverts are people who crave external stimulation and love being around other people. And, our world is designed for them. We’re forced to work in groups and encouraged to share ideas with others. We’re taught that to be outgoing, social, and vocal is the best way to act in our society.
But what if we’d rather work by ourselves? What if we work best while in a reflective state? The society we live in doesn’t allow introverts to thrive as themselves. In fact, those who work alone are shunned, seen as weird, loners, or worse, forced to become social outcasts.
I enjoy going out and meet new people, but I also enjoy time by myself. Sometimes I like having lunch, going to a coffee shop, seeing a movie, etc., in my own reflective “self” time.
Many would mistake these actions as being shy. I truly believe that shyness and introversion have NOTHING to do with each other. You should too. According to Susan Cain, the author of Quiet: The Power of Introverts, says “shyness is a fear of social judgment.” I do not have a fear of social judgment; I just enjoy time with myself, more so, than others.
Introversion
If you’re an introvert, just know it’s in your natural personality to try to avoid social situations, which includes interacting with women. For us, it’s hard to break out of our shell and be the “confident” ladies’ man that we ideally want to be.
It’s sometimes hard to be a confident man because, unlike extroverts, we feel most alive when we’re in quiet environments. So, how do we interact with girls in social settings while still being ourselves?
We have to let our minds go on a journey when it comes to social situations and find something inside ourselves that allows us to be a bit more different than what we’re used to doing.
What I like to do is go out and just troll people to make myself laugh. I would say extremely ridiculous things to purposely get rejected and start having fun. Once I hit that “I don’t give a shit” state (also known as God Mode), everything just came naturally. When I met a really cool girl, my game was ON. When I got rejected by a girl, I would forget about that whole interaction within 5 seconds.
I realized that because I was introverted, it was easier to get a girl’s number when talking to her because external forces wouldn’t distract me. I realized that though the initial steps were hard, it was worth it in the end.
The Big Picture
I’m not saying that being introverted is being better than being extroverted. I’m saying you can still be a confident and courageous man even if you’re introverted. Preferring to spend less time with others and socializing has nothing to do with confidence.
You can still get a girl’s number, talk to her, go on a date, and bring her back to your place. However, when the player needs to think, he just works better alone. Then, he can go back when he’s ready to interact with the girl again.
Also, some girls will find this very attractive because it can show you don’t rely on anyone but yourself.
Through internalization and a push, you can have the skills to approach your perfect 10 and still be yourself: introverted.
Be Yourself
Yes, you can change yourself a little bit by learning the skills of meeting new girls. You can learn how to be more confident in social situations, and you can learn how to talk to people very effectively. But at the end of the day, deep down inside, you’re still the same person.
You’re still that same person who just really enjoys sitting down by yourself at a park and reading a book.
You’re still that same person who loves to play guitar in your room without having to perform for anyone else.
You’re that same person who relieves stress by being alone.
No matter how much you change socially, you’ll still always be that same person inside and it’s important to never lose sight of that.
The advice you always hear about “being yourself” is actually not bad advice ONCE you reach a certain level of understanding. Who the fuck cares about what society THINKS your personality should be?
Don’t be ashamed of who you are, don’t be ashamed to be introverted… embrace it.
Thank you guys. The effort you are putting in is just amazing. You really helped me, I cannot thank you enough
1. ure welcome
2. go out more and tell us how it goes.
damn kong you just say what i want to tell myself in a long time in a much better way
too bad i wrote the article. no credits for you.
I think I'm shy and extroverted. If that's possible.
very possible. alot of people are stupid and smart at the same time.
I got so emotional reading this article man. I am exactly the same person as you are, the only difference is I dont have enough balls to go up to a girl or let alone stand up for myself. However, I WILL change that about me. I have never had so much desire for anything to change about me. Simple Pickup is the BEST fucking thing that has happened in my life. Thank you, Kong, Jesse and Jason.
change WILL to be FUCKINGG NOW
It's time to make some mother fucking changes, gnome saiyan!?
go out there. fail like a mother fucker. then email us on how you did.
Kong, what do I do if I can only last 3 seconds in bed?!?
fap less. get out more
I love you guy(not homo,god)
Wow I never thought I'd be getting inspiration from a randomly found you tube channel but who cares, you guys just win… No bullshit the day After i found your videos I managed to grow some balls and talk to this girl from college, and ended up being her plus one at this party even though that was literally our first convo, It doesn't sound much but for me its a big deal… I'm introverted… And ginger…yeh believe
1. like us? spread it. like butter. or stds.
2. keep at it
3. grow more balls => have more fun
Thank you so much for posting this. This is EXACTLY what I am. There are many times that I just don't want to be social, but when I get that extra motivation to do something, my personality flips. You guys are awesome!! By the way, is Project GO up? It's not letting me log in…
Good article. Insightful. Never stop working on yourself on becoming a person who knows what he's doing, following through his own intention, and just becoming a more solid man.
Thanks you Guys for all your funny, interesting, and helpful videos. I am not really social and get scared and shy around new people.However around my friends I'm energetic, crazy, loud, obnoxious, and always having fun. I want to be more social and you guys have inspired me to do so. I'm going out to work on it because school starts in a couple weeks, and I made a pact with myself to get a girlfriend (even talking about it makes me nervous). Never stop making these awesome videos and articles.
thanks to your videos i've gained confidence and have been getting out there way more. i met an introvert who i get to go out on a date, any advice with getting through to introverts?
Hey Kong,thanks for this really great article.As an introvert surrounded by extrovert I feel less weird or different.And I would never have thought you were introvert.you got great social skills !
respect
If you became an author and wrote your own book, i would be first in line big guy
<3
Great article!
As guys who have been through the journey and transformed themselves and their lives; i think it would inspire a lot of guys if you revealed more about your own journeys (how have you guys been doing pickup, what your initial few months were like, started with clubs or daytime, milestones, adversity you faced etc.). You guys already allude to this in your articles but an insight into what it was like pushing through the pain period would be massive! I have seen a tonne of guys start going out and eventually give up because they don't push through that pain period. Also it would be cool to know.Thanks!
I've been going out and doing this regularly for just under a year now, and you guys have been a continuous source of inspiration for me since the start. Cheers
Great article, keep it up!
Powerful article. Love it !
Keep going !
This was very deep, great article!
this answered alot of questions i've been having about this topic, cheers
I usually get confused between desiring to be a better person and putting myself down. Articles like this make me realize fuck both of those. i am who i am.
I love you guys
Wow you guys are great, resourceful, & down to earth awesome, you guys have completely change the way my brain will think during conversations from friends to complete strangers thanks.
my problem with girls in general is not the starting part(im actually pretty good at getting numbers and shit and getting past the first awkward seconds)
but once she likes me, i enter panick mode and, even though im sure she wont move away and she wants me to go in for the make out, i just dont
any tips on that?
You just have to push through it. I used to have the same problem. I got super nervous right before the make out and i pussied out. Just relax and don't worry. Don't even think. Just do it. If she has given you her number and your on a date she's most likely down for a make out and even sex. Just be confident and think about how awesome making out would be and not about rejection because rejection is irrelevant in this situation.
I just can't approach man no matter what I do. It's hard thing for me to do. I can speak to the girls I know in my social circle but to talk to a woman I don't know is scary.
Me too. . . .When i see a beautiful girl the first 2 seconds in my mind im like "Im gonna talk to this girl100x". Then after 2 seconds its goooooooooooone.
You both have the "Bitch Butterflies." Everytime you don't talk to her, play the "GO" game. 15 pushups, then you talk to her. simple as.
Vid Related -/watch?v=bKSHq_pN3Ug&feature=plcp
I always thought, I am an extrovert… but maybe there are intovert-characteristics
nope after interacting this much with the girls i m still eager to play the game more and moooore
I really , really liked this article. It just goes to show that introverts can be players too! :'D
i love how you guys gave me the strenght to be free. Keep going!
This article speaks nothing but the truth. You guys really are the best and you should never forget it! Thanks a lot guys!!!!
This is a great article but the problem is that loads of guys who THINK they're introverts are just shy extroverts. I'm one of em — in MBTI I am an ENFP, I used to think I was INTP for years because I was so cerebral and afraid to approach other people. Being extroverted doesn't make you one bit less socially awkward.
i'm an introvert and awesome article simple pickup..
just loved this article
I am an introvert and cant approach women. In my mind I really want to talk to her, but something makes me nervous and not be able to approach. Maybe it's because I don't know how to open
Yo I get the same shit and I hate it. This simplepickup has been helping me get over that though
i'm an introvert but you guys have completely changed the way i live my social life. all i really need is that kick start to begin a conversation, but after that i'm golden. the other day i approached a group of 4 girls and got every one of their numbers! you guys are teaching me too well i guess…
I'm naturally introvert, I've been able to build my confidence thanks to simplepickup. This article really makes me feel good about myself. Thanks simplepickup for helping others!
Good tips here.
that is one good article ..
Accurate and useful. 10/10 people.
I am an introvert, but just as yourself Kong I also seem lively and extrovert in social environments.
By the way – not that I believe in that stuff – but are you a libra? I am myself and it seems many libras have this dual introvert/extrovert nature; also it also exists in other signs.
Back OT.
So I was reading and relating to what you wrote until I read this:
You’re still that same person who loves to play guitar in your room without having to perform for anyone else
That's exactly me! And although it makes sense that other people do this, I never even thought about it.
This post is just excellent! I say power to the introverts!!!
Good job guys! Keep it up. Im learning a lot from your awesomeness wisdom haha!
I am more of an introvert myself and I can say I have adapted to society just like Kong said. I like being out with friends, I don't have problems interacting with people I just met but at the same time I like being alone, staying at home and such things. I am way, way better when working alone than with someone else. Being introverted isn't a bad thing, it's just a difference. It has it's positives and negatives.
I was in the library sitting next to a cute white girl. Having read half through the article, I told her you are so cute. She smiled and said thank you. Read it with comments, I told her let's go out and talk for five minutes. She smiled but said I have a boyfriend. She really seemed to have as I understood. I'm doing things I never dared to do as an introvert person. You guys are inspiring!
one word.. hats off to u guise.. yeah yeah.. i suck at math and grammar.. do u want me to suck your cock too?
Thank you guys this is up there with the most important stuff you have taught me.
Whats up guys…I just Joined…So let me get this straight you approach women with the intent of not pickling them up and it becomes counter intuitive by them actually giving them their number…I was in GOD MODE yesterday with my friend in new york and we both ended up getting girls number and pissing a few chicks off…but it was fun though..but answer my question
Great site bu the way
You guys are absolutely awesome. Period.
This is EXACTLY what I wanted to know.. You guys are amazing! Only you could literally change my life. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU.
I am an introvert guy and after reading this i am really felling confident and lyk kong said being rejected is really not dat bad coz once to hit d god mode then u really dnt care what society thinks .
I couldn't agree more. This article among the others I read, were so far the best. It really helped me to understand myself. I totally see me in the situation you just described, not shy, but introvertm but still outgoing when it takes to girls. I kind of had got there already by myself. But this showed me some things I hadn't really thought that way, and was very helpful in that sense.
Wow this is such a great article, one of the best Ive read. GREAT JOB kong! Im reading this for the reason because I went on a date, and well its wansnt awesome, it felt kind of boring. Although I had a great conversation with her, I could not find the correct time to get a little more physical with her. I only hugged her. I felt like I was the boring one, because I was being more of an introvert on the date. I wansnt being shy AT ALL, dont get me wrong. It just felt like I wasnt ready for the date, at the end I asked her what she thought about me, and she said that she still only sees me as a friend. But hey, I Tried didnt I. I shall Learn from my mistake and be alittle more energetic, maybe I should drink coffee before a date to get me going haha. Thanks Alot kong for such a great article, made me reflect about myself!
I'm watching your videos and reading your articles from a pretty far away place, and I wanted to tell you that you're great. I've had a couple of traumatic losses recently and I told to myself that I wanted to change the way I live.
And I found you guys, totally by chance. You helped me to recover my self esteem, and stop being that little pussy who is always bitching about his bad luck with chicks, and do nothing but complain about it. At first I watched your videos because I found them hilarius, but I went deeper and discovered some pretty nice guys that I really like, who incredibly inspired me to change.
But after reading that article, and finding myself so identified with it… I love you guys, thanks for being who you are, Kong, Jesse and Jason.
I am an introvert and when I have an uninteresting conversation with someone for a long time I feel like my energy is being drained.
I have found a lot of your guy's videos interesting and it has given me a lot to think about, but when go out to try to apply what I've learn one thought always hold me back. I am afraid of offending/ insulting or just straight up fucking up someone day. The whole “I don’t give a shit” state is great until you start worry about that. In a lot your videos I'm left think that great that that work but many people would probably count that to be sexual harassment(the batman one in particulate). In Oregon, there are large constraint of feminists so I feel like a strong possibility of someone really get upset. Am i just thinking about this wrong? And if so how can I get past it?
Hello I'm introvert, but my main problem is that in every situation of my life especially awkward situations , my face becoming red as tomato and I really can't control it, what can you recommend?
Love this article. I came to the website right now because I randomly ran into Jason at my gym today. I was super surprised. But I went over to say hi and he was very nice. It made me think of simple pickup so I came to see what new content might be up. I recently started a semi-comedic blog about being shy and introverted, and now I stumble upon this article. If I believed in signs I'd say someone out there is trying to tell me to man the fuck up and take control of my life.
Anyway, anybody reading this article might enjoy my blog. Check it out.
http://www.DearShyGuyPleaseDie.blogspot.com