My name is Kong, and I’m an introvert.
Videos on YT might make me seem as extroverted and lively; I am… but only in social situations. Behind closed doors, I’m the opposite.
Being an introvert sometimes feels like a disability… a disease. Sometimes it feels lonely, and that’s why a lot of people are ashamed of being introverted. My take on it is you shouldn’t have to explain or apologize for having a certain type of personality.
Before we discuss further about introversion, I want to talk about extroverts.
Extroverts are people who crave external stimulation and love being around other people. And, our world is designed for them. We’re forced to work in groups and encouraged to share ideas with others. We’re taught that to be outgoing, social, and vocal is the best way to act in our society.
But what if we’d rather work by ourselves? What if we work best while in a reflective state? The society we live in doesn’t allow introverts to thrive as themselves. In fact, those who work alone are shunned, seen as weird, loners, or worse, forced to become social outcasts.
I enjoy going out and meet new people, but I also enjoy time by myself. Sometimes I like having lunch, going to a coffee shop, seeing a movie, etc., in my own reflective “self” time.
Many would mistake these actions as being shy. I truly believe that shyness and introversion have NOTHING to do with each other. You should too. According to Susan Cain, the author of Quiet: The Power of Introverts, says “shyness is a fear of social judgment.” I do not have a fear of social judgment; I just enjoy time with myself, more so, than others.
If you’re an introvert, just know it’s in your natural personality to try to avoid social situations, which includes interacting with women. For us, it’s hard to break out of our shell and be the “confident” ladies’ man that we ideally want to be.
It’s sometimes hard to be a confident man because, unlike extroverts, we feel most alive when we’re in quiet environments. So, how do we interact with girls in social settings while still being ourselves?
We have to let our minds go on a journey when it comes to social situations and find something inside ourselves that allows us to be a bit more different than what we’re used to doing.
What I like to do is go out and just troll people to make myself laugh. I would say extremely ridiculous things to purposely get rejected and start having fun. Once I hit that “I don’t give a shit” state (also known as God Mode), everything just came naturally. When I met a really cool girl, my game was ON. When I got rejected by a girl, I would forget about that whole interaction within 5 seconds.
I realized that because I was introverted, it was easier to get a girl’s number when talking to her because external forces wouldn’t distract me. I realized that though the initial steps were hard, it was worth it in the end.
The Big Picture
I’m not saying that being introverted is being better than being extroverted. I’m saying you can still be a confident and courageous man even if you’re introverted. Preferring to spend less time with others and socializing has nothing to do with confidence.
You can still get a girl’s number, talk to her, go on a date, and bring her back to your place. However, when the player needs to think, he just works better alone. Then, he can go back when he’s ready to interact with the girl again.
Also, some girls will find this very attractive because it can show you don’t rely on anyone but yourself.
Through internalization and a push, you can have the skills to approach your perfect 10 and still be yourself: introverted.
Yes, you can change yourself a little bit by learning the skills of meeting new girls. You can learn how to be more confident in social situations, and you can learn how to talk to people very effectively. But at the end of the day, deep down inside, you’re still the same person.
You’re still that same person who just really enjoys sitting down by yourself at a park and reading a book.
You’re still that same person who loves to play guitar in your room without having to perform for anyone else.
You’re that same person who relieves stress by being alone.
No matter how much you change socially, you’ll still always be that same person inside and it’s important to never lose sight of that.
The advice you always hear about “being yourself” is actually not bad advice ONCE you reach a certain level of understanding. Who the fuck cares about what society THINKS your personality should be?
Don’t be ashamed of who you are, don’t be ashamed to be introverted… embrace it.